Thursday, April 17, 2014

what...?

Nothing, or maybe something, is in the pipe line. Why do I say that? Well, Steve told me this morning during brain core stimulation that I had a lot of brain activity; he did not say that it was good brain activity. Jinny told me that my urine's scent has changed since my therapy, effluvium.  I'm in brain core therapy because my beta is burning way too hot. When it is in the pipe line you may not be sure if you are to "shit or get off the pot." I think that I'm just passing gas, effluvium. Maybe this is why I blog, effluvium. What I'm hopping for is that this effluvium of my mind's transition will help facilitate my time-travel. Traveling back in time in an out of body fashion. Since therapy, I started to occupy the experience, displacing my own space. What was my role in these past experiences of mine? Did I want to be me at that moment; or, was I just surviving as I was waiting around while life was unfurling its mysteries? To me it is a thing about socialization of thought; when I was evolving out of Boston, MA, I was in a free fall away from my shame; shame of being me. Tangentially, I was not consciously aware of this shame when I was in my Boston metamorphosis. No, this shame came out of my travels back through time to when I was not freely occupying my own space because I was constantly in the survival mode, or using drugs to alter my state of consciousness. So, let me warn you about turning over a fallen leaf: Why did Adam and Eve need a leaf to cover up their genitals? Was it because someone said, "size matters?"