What's your position on another person's identity? Now! Please, if you will, walk around as if this new you -new skin - is being adapted by someone whom you really wish to be happy, like someone whom you love. Did you allow for any individual expression to form from within this identity, or is this new identity of yours for others a bit fucked up as the identity that you carry around for yourself? Please! Are you comfortable with your own opportunities for self actualization, or do you wish to slip into this new identity that you are offering up for others? Think about the new projections that might form from this new identity. What I mean to say is: are you really ready to have yourself cloned? You know! Every where you go, you find yourself; all of the baggage that you have been repressing -for who knows why- is in your face hoping that you will recognize this truth about your latent sexual identity because everything in life is sexual. If it is not sexual, it is not life. It is not that every thing you do is sexual, it is a simple matter of social intercourse. For example, you always wanted to be a dancer but your family thought that being a dancer might be misunderstood by others so they made you become a "jock" who is expected to run steady on into the status quo? What kind of an identity will it manifest? When your mind says I'm into allowing for differences, the "jock" says, them against me, zero sum. Side Bar: OK! The question is -how will the Identity identify with others? You have a unique opportunity to express fairness amongst others as you form this new Identity's pathway. How would you interpret the actions of others without discerning first what you do not know, for otherwise you would not have judged. How do you set this mindset into this new Identity that you have the privilege to form?
Friday, May 30, 2014
Seagulls! I am going to the Caribbean on a sailing vacation, in and out of the local haunts to treat my senses to another pathway, the way of the Islands. I'm getting the fuck out of town, if you know what I mean. Charleston is now inundated with outsiders playing about as if they were in La La Land. They are the short -timers. To them, Charleston is their stage of opportunity; they are into their own pleasure; that's why the short -timers are there; it is "the place" because it makes a great stage to play on. I'm wishing them all the best. But for me, I'm getting out of town. I'm going to have a "light libation" for the next 21 days. I'm so thrilled to be able to free myself; I never imbibe in the USA. I have to leave the country; than it is OK to trickle, twirl, and swirl the pleasures of imbibing the spirits that be. I will free my self from old assumptions; I'm stepping onto the Island's stage performing in my own metamorphosis. It's my attitude and my scenes that will touch, taste, and toy with the Island's spirits. However they come at me, I will welcome them with open arms. This is the time to discern previously unseen patterns allowing one's imagination unfettered exploration. "You cannot get there from here." Updike understood the haunting sound of the Island's spirit. You cannot ever get anywhere from here because you have to go to some other place first to get directions and than maybe you too will get lost on your way to getting there. Now! There is always a prelude to the opening act on opening night- my luggage, not my emotional baggage. It can only be 62 linear inches and not more than 40 pounds. Plus! My backpack is considered as part of my total luggage limitations; beyond this, there is an extra charge. I want to sail with the Seagull; they -the air lines- want to nickel and dime me after they promised me that there way was my way; but, I think what they meant was that I want it their way but of course I could always drive; there is the highway. I heard it before: "It's my way or the highway" which will it be?
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Yes indeed, it did happen to me too. Craig's List sent me a false positive: its name was "just-me." Liar Liar, your soul is on fire. You crushed my lust just like the mean old men in prison crushed my sense of what is natural when it comes to jail house sexuality. Yes! You care only for self gratification. I come to you looking to find out what could be; you abuse my spirit with your lackadaisical sleaze. Your approach to my comfort lacks the wisdom of yesterday's discernment. My parish priest was right on about the devil's true intentions. Shakespeare once said, "to be or not to be, that is the question." What is to "be" is me; for, I am on the "list." Now I say to you, Craig's List, you are unfaithful, undeserving of my folly into the realm of the internet. You crushed my lust for the secret of Pandora's box. Granted, I will admit that I'm looking for "kink" in all the wrong places. Just like when I was a young man growing up in Boston, Ma; believe it our not, I use to go into the "titty bars" to shoot pool and be entertained by the exotic dancers. And -you know- my parish priest would tell me in the confessional booth that those "titty bars" are the places where the devil hangs out. Now I really know where the devil is handing about. That is right, the devil is lurking under false pretenses as -casual encounters- in the personals on Craig's list. This is where the old men and some young women go to tantalize each other. Yes, I remember going to the movies when I was a young man. One movie in particular, "The Music Man" reaffirmed what my parish priest said about pool halls. Yes! I'm saying that the "casuals encounters" section of Craigs list is as devious as the pool halls of yesterday. The "lie" is in; the fix is just like shooting up the juice of your own imagination. Because you can not think that women from the "titty bar" generation are any thing like the woman which you bring before the parish priest on your wedding day. The same goes for the impersonators from "casual encounters."
Monday, May 26, 2014
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Saturday, May 24, 2014
So yes, I'm sending out another S.O.S because I am very angry about the casual way in which others just seem to get along in life without ever taking a moment to wonder if the generalized other is getting a fair shot at happiness. So! Now for the truth, who gives a flying fuck if the next guy gets his or her shot at happiness as long as you get yours. It does seem to me that the talking heads, like you can catch any week day on Morning Joe, will selectively remember how their political opposition had fired the first salvo; therefore, their mud slinging is justified to reinforce their "status quo," whatever that means or so entails. Fuck! I'm drowning in this pissing contest that seems to have no end in sight. What gets to me is this idea of a social contract -which by the way, I never signed and if I did please forgive me because I did not understand that it was up for revision every time some "shit head" senses that their sense of sensibility is under attack. Why does it matter if I wipe my ass with my left hand and you, for what ever reason, choose to wipe your ass with your right hand. Now, I do know because I'm a well traveled fool that there are some cultures that frequently dine in a communal manner and forage from the same bowl; so they all wipe with their left hand and dine with their right hand, but does that mean that others have to follow suit and think right brain versus left brain because they come from the culture which does or does not forage from the communal feeding bowl? I think not because when I'm in the bowels of my own mind I'm quite ambidextrous; yes, I do believe that I can sling the "shit" just as well as the talking heads can. My only problem is that no one will give me any credit for my efforts unless they are in agreement with my conclusions or end up in my world of "dreams do come true if you are a switch hitter."
Friday, May 23, 2014
When I was growing up there was a TV character by the name of "Freddy the freeloader" played by Red Skelton. This was a "skit" from his Sunday TV show. Freddy was a hobo living alongside the rail road tracks. He had some unusual shows but there was always some king of moral compass toward fair play: that was the silver lining. Freddie got into trouble because he was always living on the edge. Freddy was a child of the Great Depression. He could have been a character in one of Steinback's unfurling like the "Grapes of Wrath," or for sure, Rabbit out of "Rabbit Run" would have been a fan of "Freddy's" too. But Freddy would not be treated the way that the system treats felons as they try to reenter society; they are never free from Reformation's sin. The church needs its demerits to keep the faithful alert to temptation as Satin is always out and about offering the children his pleasures. You are always one of the children because it is you that they harvest their tithe from, your pledge for doing business in the community. Your church is special to you. Right! It is like them against you on who owns God. You do, of course, because you believe the dogma about the way felons are to be shunned. The only dogma that you recognize for the poor is proselytizing about them before you allow them to rise up out of poverty. I think that you want the assurance that their 10th goes to your church. Not to some other "come along" who offers flashes of glitter to entice a more universal way of sharing one's spirit. I believe that "Freddy"would be rooting for the home team; for it's the world's Olympics that he is rooting in; Freddy would be rooting for humanity to survive here on earth and not in the stratosphere of la la land, the church.
Substantive ideas: ideas whose time could be about not having working class or middle class in them. Yes! The elites of the times are pyramid builders which need the 99% to support their sense of accomplishment. What do I mean? I mean that you are the "dung" from which the elite Southerners sprout their air of superiority. How about that? You work in the coal mines; their work is checking on and complaining about the fairways along the golf course as they approach the putting green. Remember now to be quiet as they concentrate on their putt; it is the most important and substantive issue on their agenda. You! Well your job is to "load another ton of number nine coal and to go deeper in debt to the company's store."Right! You see the idea is to try and be one of them so that you too can spend your day on the golf course praising God for your ascent into their realm, meaning you are no longer one of those who have to go into the "coal mines" of life. That is right. You are no longer one of the oppressed. Congratulations, you are now officially one of those who oppress and enslave others to do your bidding. This you do to assure yourself a place at the right hand of God, even if you are left handed. Fear not, it is not your virgin daughter being sacrificed to the God of superstition; she is not fucking tossed under the bus; or as in the past, dropped off of the mountain top into the volcano to appease the sexual lust of the ruling deity which you know that you want to be. Right! No! You say no not me. Then you run for some community position so that you can boast of being the little Fascist kid in the neighborhood who wanted to score with those of in-crowd. Congratulations, you too will get the "Sieg Heil" and maybe open up a camp or two, too.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Monday, May 19, 2014
The sweet horn of plenty leaving you satiated with its nectar: juice up at the pump, my friend, for life is leaving you behind. Accept the lies that are out there in time and space being postulated upon by the lobbyist behind the throne of your ideas. It's in the understanding of history that you get wisdom, vicarious relationships breeding thoughts for consideration, thinking: Why the fuck are you holding on to this belief system of yours which is dysfunctional at best or potentially criminal in nature because your history is inadequate for the times. Your problem stems from the fact that you lack experience -specialization that comes through opportunity, frequency. You get up to bat; you foul out because you lack the jargon of accomplishment. Your language lacks the polish of "rhetoric" because it is psychobabble from the "hood."This new world has social norms that are foreign to you. You move from situation to situation on a stage traversing the moguls of complexity. Your comfort goes up and down in a jazzing manner leaving you drained and elated. Side Bar: you learn to appreciate the history of others so that you can allow for your own differences in relationship to the differences being expressed around you. For example, the Jews were in until Pope Gregory set the calendar. Rome fell and out of the ashes rose Islam until the West nested the Protestant reformation and the beat of history goes on.
She promised me that she would be true; in fact, she was a he/she; she distorted my sense of pleasure. She is the felon's princess ineffable. With that said, the present is made up from its history and therefore the desired reformation has to come from overturning the prejudices that form when understanding the ramifications of our resolve to accommodate the cumulative we. As in "We the people" found in the constitution. If the desired outcome of our social resolve is to teach others about the meaning of social intercourse, than what is needed is to understand that not everyone has had the opportunity and privilege to reflect upon the meaning of life, its responsibilities. Because not every one comes with the same package of common sense. So in this universal "we" the common sense is not common amongst all in the collective whole; for there are many island wholly made up from various segments of society subjugating one group from another depending upon their dependency for access to the desired resources needed to sustain life in a meaningful way. We can all react to the same social trigger but history has taught us that our reactions will differ according to our unique histories. For example, one felon from the political elite will become a reality TV star burning bright even though he/she fosters only the primal need for greed while the remaining 99% of those who leave prison with their felon's stamp are offered the tenured position of grovelling from the barrel's bottom. Now it is also true that each felon dives into Dante's folly from their own platform, each one with their unique characteristic inculcated by their small family, their neighborhood of origin. Each is a product of their times, the places and faces that made up their mind's eye. You enter Dante's folly passing through the "icicle garden" where you morph into this distorted sense of reality based upon consuming your soul so that you can survive the ordeal of passing through the icing down of social intercourse as your brain's beta wave burns red. The princess is all about revealing Dante's descent into Hell.
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Thursday, May 15, 2014
As far as I'm concerned, I'm in a living nightmare. Fuck! I wish you would get off of my stage. You bring along so much garbage. Because the system wants you to fit a mold that they have filled with religious superstitions. I know that this is my problem and not yours; yet, it affects both of us. You and I need to find a way to clean up this "social garbage" spewing out of us from moment to moment as we pass through out our day. The mind does not always remember what it encoded into its brain over time. This is evidenced on those occasions when you had diarrhea-of-the-mouth. As for my self, I'm as guilty as we all are; my question to my self is: Why? I know that the key to understanding lays in one's ability to listen without prejudice. For example, I had this fight with someone about my willingness to sway the project: The IRS constructed the format for the deal. If you did anything else it would be fraud. I was not going down that pathway because I just took over the hotel when he wanted me to house his guest; it was against the rules to do so; I told him so. I went to prison; he lost out to the IRS because they did not trust him, therefore the IRS foreclosed on the deal. Now if I was willing to bend to his sway I would have been on easy street. But no, I had to be straight because I was afraid to go to prison for committing a financial fraud. Irony! Now! To fill in the pieces. My job was to find a pathway that was acceptable to the IRS, freeing the property's hold; its market potential was 350,000,000 dollars. The IRS and the Real estate Commissioner gave me the OK to teach a course in ethics with Timberon, NM as the stage, a new state law; you had to have a license. When you are dealing within a structure, you no longer have control: I had a non-denominational tax exempt status; he wanted its hermeneutic to be translated as Mormon. This social garbage lacked ethical validity but it was politically powerful as you can witness; I'm a felon.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Sunday, May 11, 2014
You are too beautiful to be legal. You are just another one of those ideas floating around in the environment. You know: nothing is new; It's the spin you put on it. Right! Some say that, if you are tuned with your environment, you will be facilitated along by the effect. The world is on all sides of the divided - you, me and the rest of the family. Plus, Alibaba's followers. Next the I.P.O. No! this is a legal deal to assure the divided, newly created felon -slave. As in reconstruction, the 5/8's value had to attain the common denominator of equality under the constitution; meaning that a 5/8's slave in now an 8/8's equal and free; this is the 14th amendment to the constitution. So, using that logic, its inverse has to also have the same trajectory. This is a "retro-reflection" back to being less than equal. Well than you have to make allowances for those differences. If the felon can not be treated as an equal. Then the system has to compensate for its affect upon the felon's ability to flourish. For example, I'm a political prisoner and I'm on a lifetime probation against a rogue jury's unsupported verdict of "guilty."There was on evidence; there was only perjury, false testimony. I'm not the only felon being rifted back to a 5/8's; some of these felons are hovering plus or minus 0/8's; all they do is go through the "revolving door" because they lack status. I'm forming this union because I can; it is your choice to join it if you also wish this flight of fantasy for slaying the fucking dragon. Six million members makes a very large harpoon. This is an inclusive union which fosters social justice: since I'm a feminist; I'm saying that all are welcome to join Balance Inc. R. This is our limbo membership -waiting to become a felon. We will be advocating for social justice; you can support our endeavors by ordering one of our future tee-shirts. I'm the case that needs to be brought before the U.S. Supreme Court because it's my14th amendment's right to be adjudicated too. The verdict was corrupted. Can you imagine the defense that I could make against the rogue prosecutors who prostitute justice if all 6,000.000 million felons purchase a future "Social Justice" tee-shirt?
Thursday, May 8, 2014
I put a full-page advertisement on the back page of the local Sunday newspaper. I buried in the ad a story that I could unfold to you if you were interested. The important part of this is that you have the ad. We could talk about the hidden 7's, words with seven letters in a word string. You would see the ad in a much different light because you understood something on a different level. Anyway, you were attending Pier14 restaurant where the mental health therapists were running a workshop entitled "The Dawn of Awareness." The cost was $77.77 and you could reserve your participation via check. I received over 100 hundred checks for the first show and the numbers were growing when the mental health professional backed out of the deal. Plus, if you wanted to take a private tour of one of the resorts on the beach, you would get your money back for the mental health weekend in Myrtle Beach, SC. The idea behind the idea is that the gift of awareness facilitates the family, its need to stay tuned with a dream, no matter what else goes wrong with the rest of the year. Your time will come; this is what the Dream Merchant was selling, balance. I was interviewed on TV about the upcoming Dawn of Awareness event. There was a good chance that our audience would be around 200 people. $15,554.00 lost energy. But, the idea had its fruition even though the checks were returned. 200 X $77.77 = $15,554. Now, what other treasure did you get? You were there to explore your differences, allowing others to understand you, so, that you can better understand them. You were there with your wife, girlfriend, your soul mate. It was all about setting the stage for your possibilities to flower. Now the irony behind this failure was that I was involved with her, -the mental health therapist; she encouraged my behavior, yet spite's ugly head won the day; I got fucked. Also in the ad I quoted from the History of Humanities advertising. But I switched the word "creativity" with "time share" in the quote. Now, as a gift, I had printed up the original quote on parchment to be given away upon their arrival. I have had this quote on my personal card since that promotion because I think it is right on. Side bar: I think she got so fucking mad at me because I did the TV spot with another woman, a friend the therapist didn't know about. I could be wrong because the main focal point in the ad was our ten commandments on "could" or "should." It could have been the "could" or "should. Simply stated, if you said you "should" to her instead of you "could" do this or that she would go through the fucking lecture on the meaning of words.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Plus, and not to look for sympathy, I'm on a diet. Right! I was listening to C-Span's coverage on the judicial system and its management yesterday. I'm sorry to say that they are running on negative beta, as in brain wave. Truth! Which means that you have to process your wave, whatever it is, through a negative system; this can only mean one thing, the felon population will be growing at an exponential rate. What else is on my mind? Each of the top hedge fund managers -on average- took home $1,000,000,000 billion dollars in income this year, exclusive of other revenue streams. This is a new shadow government in its wake of being the power within, for example, the Italian city states like Rome's guiding light -the Catholic Church. The book that everyone hid in the brown paper bag was "The Prince" by Machiavelli. Now, if you take probability into account, you can safely bet on the family producing children who will be earmarked for a career in felonhood. Yes! It is just another form of slavery. I know because I have to register with Interpol; I will be sailing in foreign waters and that means they will have jurisdiction over me. They usually hold me up for hours upon my arrival because they are not sure of what to expect from me, my behavior. One way or another the system, which is bent on redemption, must have some one to redeem. The wagons are circling around; resources are being divided. But I'm sorry you are not invited to the party because you will get your just reward in the next life; some of you are willing to blow yourself up to mark the four wives for your coming arrival. Fucking A!
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Monday, May 5, 2014
Straight down that old crooked road, I went without any thought of looking back. I took myself for granted; I never realized that I was not supposed to take care of myself. The wisdom floating around in this new way of looking at life is that "it takes a village to raise a child." I never believed anything that you were saying anyway; you were all about you, right. Have you ever felt that way? That the system is out for itself; the rest of us are just more hash to be served up for breakfast. Let me tell you a story about fear. When I was young I had to take a nap, real young. But I did not like the visitor that came during my sleep, before I fell asleep. Uncle Charlie moved into the house to take care of us while my mother was being tortured at the nut house. My father, the shit head, was off to work, as a bus driver. He did have special arrangement with some of this female riders. My father was one of those sleazy males in the neighborhood, who when the guys were off to war; their wives were home alone; times were tough and boundaries were convoluted. Yes, he did have one of those Napoleon complexes too. For example, he was John Wayne and I was the "Jap" in our WWII foreplay; sometimes I was the Indian to be massacred. Meanwhile, Charlie would just hold me close to his naked body for nap time and rock me to sleep. I did not like his visits; but, he was a good cook; he did clean up the house. I liked that because my mother was a slob; fuck, they used electric shock treatment on her until she was brain dead; then she would be sent home to take care of us, fucking A. This is why I think that it is one of those things that you cannot do; that is to say, you can not straighten out a crooked old road. But, for sure, this old house can be flipped; refurbished, and just maybe, I can realize a profit for life's investment in me.
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Fuck it; there is no free will. How can you have free will when you are not in control of your environment. Right! You can pick and choose between your options; but do you really think that your choices come from the best of all possible worlds? And, if you do, than I do not think that you are on the same page as the rest of the majority or those like myself. I'm a psychological junky; I'm addicted to my weakness. For example, I was born Irish Catholic when the dogma was WASP and the country was going into fucking war. Being Irish Catholic was all ways on the table because it was discriminated against. The Irish immigrant who wanted his piece of the pie: his cockiness thought that ice cream would be nice too. Yes indeed, I have more lives than the common alley cat; maybe even more than I wish to not reminisce on. I venture to say that free will could come out of experiences freely taken so as to maximize their effect with others. Right! I believe that it is all about self best interest when the situation arises so that you can be assured that your needs were being met; life is giving you this opportunity, today only. Isn't that what your local timeshare girl says to you when she pops the question? The Dream Merchant wants to know if you want to step up to bat or do you want to send in a relief hitter? Is there free will in an environment convoluted in questionable hermeneutics, advertising. You feel the pressure from your primal psyche, the scream from within, this alien that you become, pleasure seeker. The voice in your head says, " I could have bought this and I could have bought that but in the end it all went down the tube." Your old man's voice in your head just bouncing all around about his lost opportunities and why life cheated him out of his piece of the pie. Now you do not want to be just like your old man so you have to pick up the bat, hit the ball out of the park, so that you too cane taste sin. How do you process any given moment when this particular sin is just for today, today only.
Saturday, May 3, 2014
My life is so dysfunctional because I am dysfunctional; I'm dysfunctional because there is no place for me in the environment of others. There are no pathways open. I know that I'm not the only one out there who feels this way; you too could feel this way. So I suppose that I'm talking to you. I used to be socially acceptable. I always earned a living in a black market kind of way. The informal commerce of the community is where I worked, as they say, under the table. I remember those days back in the 50's during a good snow, I could make a C note shoveling snow; that is $100 dollars for a couple of days work. You know, I missed a lot of schooling during the snow storm's harvest, shoveling snow. It's better than the shit you have to shovel today. Than I got my work permit when I was twelve. I was official -tax paying slob. I was a non stop worker for my slice of the pie until I was drafted into military service. I was 22 years old. You know -in the proverbial catch 22 position of being deliberately dismantled. Yes, the idea is to turn you into a -Government issue- dismantle the person to form the soldier. But, in the process I lost my spirit instead. I was no longer driven to discover my niche in life. I became the hamburger that was consumed by the system, the veteran. This process: How the fuck did I get here when you can't get here from there? If you recall, Updike covered it in "Rabbit Run." When asking for direction the reply was, "you can't get there from here." Anyway! Executing the idea: how are you going to set it into motion if this action of yours is neutered. Meaning the inability to do it myself. Learning that I needed someone else to do it for me. How did I learn to be helpless? I learned to be helpless because you will not allow me -the felon- access to a meaning full life. I'm not living; I'm aging.
Friday, May 2, 2014
unconsciousness that is the root of the question because it implies somehow that the herd is comfortable with this truth. Maybe this reality stifles the discovery of what maybe could be true, like that the earth is not really flat. Each member of the herd is different and it is this difference that separates their opposing position. If you allow for these differences you maximize self best interest. These interests vary from one an other in many and various ways, dependent on various situations. It is a convoluted herd. Discovery could be one of its charming points. For example, when the feedback loop is in proper balance, the herd will spill out its connectivity like a spider spins its web, an infrastructure to get along on. There is this cognitive dissidence, confusion that can bring a cancer into the herd. You know that is when everybody is the leg of the centipede that wants to run astray. You do not want to get tangled up in the web, you want to walk across it. The spider is in concert with its web. This is where the herd needs to be with its potential, its discovery. All creativity is based on freeing yourself of old assumptions. When you go beyond yourself, allow for other pathways you will encounter differences to which you can assimilate, maybe a one night stand. I'm not against reality. Please, life is all about the brain and its ability to be unique to one and all. My brain or your brain it is just what you do with it. Also it's like I'm Apple and you are PC. Anyway, to the point: You cannot shut off that brain in a prison and expect that brain to progress along as your brain has had the opportunity too. If you do that, the brain must function in a dysfunctional environment, developing its own spin on the prison's hive. Guest what it thinks about you. I can tell you this, nothing.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
"Thanking you in advance:" this was how I ended the letters going out of cell block 3right -to prison officials. Somehow, I became the "Rev" to the blacks in 3right. I was never one of them in any sense of the word. They know that all reverends are sinners anyway; and they will help them write their letters. This form of living with the mix of black and white, some drunk, some in wheelchairs, etc. in the dungeons of Horry County, SC was like Dante's Inferno all taking place in a condemned building where the state kept its condemned minorities. It was played out in a white trash trailer park kind of way. The male sense of hegemony gets wound up in a more frantic state causing disturbances among the members of the torture chamber -3right. The local ministers would come into the dungeons and call out my name. "Tom, come on out and witness your sins so that they can heal those who may chose your Devil ways." I'm telling you all that it is fucking rape of the highest order to ask an innocent man to be a false witness to the guilt of the allegation. And one of them ended up on my jury, SC politics. In SC you are guilty until proven innocent because the courts want you to negotiate, plea bargain. You have all of the pieces of the puzzle in front of you; that is the go.This deal gets its legs off of the go, out of the chute. The chute is a balancing act between the Actors involved. How well do they communicate with one and other; are their goals oriented in favor of success or is there an outlier amongst the Actors in the group? This is my situation: I'm in Brain Core theory; I made this deal with myself. A deal is a deal even with yourself. In my case I was always the outlier when dealing with others. My life was a Faustian deal with myself, stacking deal upon deal in the derivative fashion. How do you come to grips with the Devil if you were masking around as Faust, being his avatar?