Tuesday, December 30, 2014


The Constitution of the United States states that, if the population feels that its government is not serving them, than they can form a new government. So I'm forming a "new" population so that its members can form a new government which will function on their behalf. This is all about the value of your labor. For example, there are somewhere around 80,000,000 (eighty million) potential members to my new population because they are being tracked by their government, its police. What I'm proposing to do is but together a Union that has a structure capable of negotiating their worth. This arbitration between parties is absent when their existing population has "stained" them in one fashion or another. For example, you might have been arrested and released by the police when you were young; but the system still has that information. As you know, it can come out and stab you in the "back" because it prevented you from advancing your goals. Imagine how difficult it is to get a decent job if you are stained a felon. Well let me suggest that you "imagine" that as the population becomes poorer because of the financial divide  between the elites and "all others." Also, may I suggest to you that some member of your family is going to become "stained" because of their unfortunate financial situation in the future when the police are going to be harvesting their charges; you are now one of the "all others." YES! It could become a consequential journey down Dante's staircase into hell. I have been there; I know it is nothing like "Alice's" rabbit hole. If you have a comment please e-mail: balanceincr@me.com Now, let's move on so that I can express to you the way that I feel about being "dead." Yes! The constitution guarantees its citizens the right to liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Now in today's world "Liberty" equates to privacy; I'm walking around "town" with a bull's eye stapled to my every move. I may be wrong but I do believe that there is a file on me; it goes with me from country to country like a man without a country because it carries the Devil's mark. Now there was a time back in the 60's when I carried a "red" file; my passport was red; it would open up every door; it never failed me when I was traveling by air. Today when I travel homeland security pulls me out of line; it's never like "Alice's" rabbit hole, either. I'm a member of the walking dead. This is why I am forming a new union with others like myself who have been "stained" by the crumbling religious hegemony that has been stifling their possibilities.      
make myself clearly understood

Wednesday, October 15, 2014


I'm sorry, but I'm not dispensable. I'm with "you" here & now! Anonymity is what I would like to feel. Free to know that there is not someone out in the environment looking to take me down as "game" because of their perceived sense of vision., or their elite sense of standing in their own mind.  Their point of view is couched in their divinity with their God; whoever that is is a matter of contention, but the point is taken. They are there. My "fear" is real, but it can not interfere with dreaming unless I allow it to. So all of the players in the story are telling you a "false" story about me; so I'm telling something about them.  It was Judge Fields who sat on the bench during the proceeding and allowed the rogue-prosecutor to scream out to the sitting jury; " he is a time-share sales man, what chance did she have?" She set the seed of distrust based upon their experiences when taking a timeshare tour. At this point I must say that "statement" did not get into the "trial's" transcript. It's S.C. what else can anyone say? I was found guilty because I was a "timeshare" salesman. Yes! In those days every one who was anywhere near them took a tour and got a very bad taste for the salesman's exaggerations.  Now! Here is the point: Many years latter a friend of mine got stained by my conviction when she attempted to assist me with recovery. I had what some might call a mental meltdown when I was attempting my re-entry into society's impossibility. Because I was in charge of her hopeful projects the more the community of elites pressed back against her and she too was shunned. She is a advocate of early childhood education; it belongs in the home.  So here is the "irony:" She tried to purchase a property on Romney st. Charleston, S.C. so that she could offer it up to those women in the neighborhood as an entrepreneurial center for employing the families in the immediate vicinity.This property sat in the middle of two housing projects where residents have to walk if they want to save money, not drive. Transportation for the poor is a major factor in limiting their possibilities. She was not asking anyone one for any help to pay for her opportunity to further the community's effort. She was willing to pay all expenses to get the project under way. But because she was "stained" with my "scarlet letter" like the star of David pinned on the Jews of Germany by Hitler. These Charleston housing projects were home to many Black minority children who would love to have had their parents in a more opportunistic mood because of her project. Why were these minority children fair game to be hunted down and incarcerated instead of being give the opportunity to prosper? Tell me, Judge Fields, how does it feel to see the stench rise of off your sacred influence? Right! Fuckin' A! Drink to the God of omission & spread your "degrees of freedom" as we say in Numbers, "what does 'law' got to do with it"...'law' is but a second hand emotion...." The punch line is: Nietzsche was right, God is dead, S.C. seconds the motion. e-mail  balanceincr@me.com

Monday, October 13, 2014


They are stealing because they are not being utilized. If you "ostracize" them, you create a vacuum for them, meaning they are denied their membership rights into life's game. They are the "slaves." When the Judge is appointed as in the state of S.C. and not elected or otherwise controlled through or influenced through the legislative powers the "slave's" environment is set to deny the "slave." Slavery is the spice of the day, every day. Now! Here is the point: John Dunne wrote in meditation 17, "...no man is an island..." also, " ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for the..." So, here is the question:  if you "ostracize" them, what than will they become a part of?  They cannot be a part of the whole community enjoying their civil rights because the dominant principle is to dominate the agenda through political posturing. For example, when you have no rights because the state is a right to work state where the individual has no leverage, elites rule. Their theme is "the most restrictive restricts"; a few aristocratic minded minds will control their world. Now, they thought this because when they woke up in the morning and looked around they were the Southern "high cotton" intelligentsia who controlled the slave labor in their day, 1860's. For in its day it had its value because the elites thought that they were on the right side of thought, their ideas. The population as a whole is made up of slaves and that was Yesteryear's and this is Today. But the "high cotton" agenda still prevails in S.C. I say its "spice" is thriving on slavery. They can do it because you consider yourself to be a "body;" you are a brain that has a mind to play with; but you would rather be a body that is in control as it was in the days of the 1860's. It even seems that you wanted the South to win the war over slavery so that you could assume a Fascist mind set.  Let me give you a metaphor for the "Fascist mind set" to help process my thought: Il Duce & the Church. In the early 1900's the Catholic Church of Rome, the Pope controlled the land and the souls of Italy, but they were poor because the elites controlled commerce, therefore, the money. So when Mussolini came into power in the 1930's, he cut a deal with the church: he took all of the land accept an Island state in the middle of the city of Rome, Italy's capital, allowing the church to be its own state actor with banking powers, "Il  Duce" got the land and its population -as a right to work state, Fascism.  "A right to work state like S.C. is a Fascist state of mind if not of the body as well. Let me end with this thought of what if? ...the people of S.C. tore of the Legislative mask which hides all of the "sins." For example, when Pope Francis tore the mask off of the Church's banking model he found out that the church was so liquid because it had its fingers in all sorts of eCommerce like owning over 8,000 tourist units in down town London, England with a street value of well in excess of millions per day, plus the church owns the property as well. Yes! S.C wants you to be " barefoot and pregnant" with its antiquated mind set blowing up your helium balloon of life.   e-mail,  balanceincr@me.com

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Truth's side of "midnight."

Midnight is the benchmark of time; it is also the beginning & ending of time's daily routine. Now! What I do with my time has nothing to do with you unless you have "fuck-ed" over my state of consciousness like when the Nettles' family walked into a court room, lied to the Jury about my actions out of "spite & greed." Yes, this is what is know as "white 'trailer park' trash" in the old Southern way of relating about someone's status, "white trash." But! What the fuck! The key to understanding is simple when you realize that it is a fool's game if you put your future on the "backside" of anyone other than yourself. Like in my case, I am grafted to their "lies" because S.C allowed this to happen through its corruptible judiciary.  But in your case, you are untethered unless you are willing to choose to follow instead of lead. So, now each moment is earned or lost depending on what you did with the moment at hand. For example: are you waiting for someone to do something for you so that you can finish the moment; or is someone waiting on you to do something so that there is continuity of moments, as the old sage once said to his young  disciple, it's "moment to moment" that we live, so act that way by incurring into a "role-play" that gives direction to these moments coming up, like the "pack" man of yesteryear consuming its dots on the screen. Yes! As you traverse the moment at hand, you couch it in "self best interest;" otherwise, the generalized other will not understand your motives. This is the greatest "sin," to speak and not be understood.  Communication is allowing for the differences between two or more points at any moment. e-mail balanceincr@me.com

Wednesday, October 1, 2014


So what is this moment all about? It is about anger; it is about the fragmented Middle East. To me, anger is a state of mind that has given up its "weakness" of thought. Yes! thinking in "context" allows force of nature to manifest its construct of accommodating and assimilating the various interests in the Middle East.  To me the key to the region is not to destroy each others differences because you would stand alone; therefore, you would be where you started from; you would be alone without counsel. The idea of going "tribal" is governess out of council. Another way to look at "it" is to think exponentially because it is the confluence with others of various perspectives that gives us the greatest "stage" to unfurl the region's potentiality. For example, I believe that you become angry when your intellect is being challenged because you cannot think.  As in the children's game of  paper rock scissors, scissors cuts paper like anger shreds mind. If I may set up another metaphor to play with, let us look to the Middle East & see what could be with a little bit of imagination. Turkey is the key to many pathways of possibilities. Like the Ottoman Empire's interpretation of "the Prince" by Machiavelli  brought the tribes from the region under one rule. Yes! the steps of the Mediterranean lead to Turkey as the "roads" led to Rome. Bring Turkey into the European Union would or could become the stage that will give voice to its environs. Yes! If Turkey were to be what it was, it would be Sunni and not Shia, meaning there would be a clear division of authority. Sunni was meant to govern since the inception of the Muslim religion. For example, if you were a follower & a member of the tribe you were Sunni & if you were a follower & a convert you were Shia. How about if we play the game of "context": If Bush 2 took out Saddam, but did not take out the Sunni construct of governess the Middle East today would be a much better place. Just because Saddam was brutality in wielding the Sunni construct does not mean that the Sunni construct of governance is "brutal;" it's tribal, not democratic. e-mail balanceincr@me.com      

Monday, September 29, 2014

...two "mind's"...thinking.

Imagine the conversation between the felon & his attorney: The attorney wants to develop an "innocence project" in the state of S.C. The felon wants his case to be the bench mark against corruption between "church & state" for the constitution mandates this point of view & the states of N.M & S.C. colluded in the process of setting up a situation where felony sanctions were set, misprision of a felony. When the prosecutor failed to provide any credible evidence the Judge changed the charges to favor the prosecutor, and demonizing the defendant, on statutory grounds. The felon thinks the situation is a no-brainer; but maybe the attorney is reticent because corruption in this case runs "deeper than the deep blue sea." Anyway! Recently, the S.C. Supreme Court ruled that your name can be taken of the "sex offenders registry." Take me before the Supreme Court so I can ask them why they deem it so insignificant in the past when they turned me down -the first time around- but round 2 is coming up. Corruption is the culprit because it is a system designed to foster itself, perpetuating its viability so that those who participate can manipulate their particular situation as well. For example, the prosecutor works for the "judge." It was the "judge" that reduced the charges so that there could be a conviction; & the "moneyed" elites in the states of N.M. & S.C. were again manipulating the events of privilege through the court's courting the "Church's" turpitude, its hermeneutics. Yes! The "South" just loves to perpetuate the fairy tales coming from their childish beliefs in their Aristocracy. South Carolina was a land grab by the English elites coming out of the Protestant Reformation which as you know was spear headed by Henry the V111. Please! There is no difference between King Henry V111 of England & Emperor Constantine of Rome other than the obvious  point of "time,"16th century & 4th century, respectively, & Yes, they both endorsed & enforced Bibles, Protestant & Catholic.  e-mail balanceincr@me.com  

Friday, September 26, 2014

Shit! "fucking amazing"

"Life is a Dream," where the king locked up his "son" because of how "loud" the Queen screamed during his childbirth. I was born an Irish mongrel not a prince so for me it was to the "gas oven" & my mother's attempted suicide; but, I survived. & It is also true that maybe it just set me on a different path from those who were not "gassed" at birth like the "Prince" he was simply locked up in a "library" with a Master to educate him & teach him how to forgive; Yes! If he did not forgive the king for his "imprisonment" when he turn 21; he would be killed instead of free. Anyway!  The prince did not die & neither did I. It's a Polish "fair" tale. You Know! But -as we are all aware- life is a "bitch" even when you are one of the winners because everyone wants what you want. Or! May be you should consider yourself to be luck because you are one of the privilege individuals who can go on vacation or "stay-cation" depending on your mood, not on being a "broke" puppy who does not have anyone holding on to their leash. Yes! please stop complaining because you are so so lucky. Let me tell you a sad story, I'm in Charleston, S.C. I live here & I do not have a stranger to talk to because nobody knows my "sorry." For example, how can you move on when every 90 days you have to be stenciled like the "Jews of the Father Land?" This has been going on for 25 years; I'm in good health which means that it can go on for another 15 to 20 years. It started off every week I had to register & put a "bulls eye" on my back identifying me as one of those "sick mother Fuckers" that society should "rape & abuse" both of which have happened to me on the streets of Charleston, S.C. I bring this up because I had lunch with someone this past weekend in Asheville, N/C.  who is very rich in friends; but, she does not see it as an asset; she things of money as an asset and therefore I'm privilege; & should move on and stop complaining because their are many Blacks who have been rejected too; you have so much more. You can travel -a man of leisure. Fucking amazing.  e-mail balanceincr@me.com   

Monday, September 22, 2014

Open Apology

I want to take this time and apologize to ANYONE who received inappropriate material from my FB  feed; it was due to my inexperience with trying to build my website -theblackmarket.me. I did not realize that when I commented on or "liked" someone's Page because they asked me to that everything on their page would go out to everyone in my FB feed & for this I am very sorry. I will try to be a better steward to my FB friends in the future. Now! That said: I want to tell you as best I can, without offending any body, I use my FB friends as "therapy," a way to vent out "emotionally" instead of acting out against life's fiascoes in a "physically" disruptive fashion. Now, I have FB friends from around the world; each and every one of them is different; these differences seem to manifest in some very creative postings. These postings, as you know, appear on my FB page so that anyone who visits my personal page might find some of the content rather risque in its openness. For example, someone posted on their FB page a video of a young man dying from blood loss do to a bike accident. In the video you see a group of people filming his death. Each had their I-phone out at the ready to collect the evidence. Yet, not one soulless observer in the video rendered the dying boy help. Life is cheap! But, like the press reporter from days gone by, the "scoop" goes to the first observer who can post the "video" on their FB page, getting the byline. Yes! this is the extreme to some & normal to others; who are we to judge when we step over the homeless as we go "out & about" in our daily lives. I did not post this video, yet it appeared on my FB feed. It's FB's porthole into "Dante's inferno" as seen through the eyes of the Marque De Sade's memoir making fantasy.  e-mail  balanceincr@me.com

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Remembrance: "..?.."

This is the "?" if you can follow my drift. You do not know me: no one knows me because no one knows themselves. You Know! If no one knows their "space"- identity as it is being displaced when they occupy various interactions with others. For example, looking at a group of known individuals, each will have a different standing -identity in the group- as they are being assimilated or accommodated by their peers, their degrees of fluid movement. "Degrees of fluid movement" - I never had "it;" I can not remember a "fluid movement." Because when I move from person to person I have no real idea of who I am. So, at any particular moment who gives a flying "fuck" anyway. I say this because everyone seem to be jockeying around for their "self best interest." Am I right or wrong? So maybe life is all about "gossip;" and living is peddling "gossip" in a cryptic fashion. It is sort of like the once popular t-shirt, "shit happens." OR! "A China-man's chance" was a one time expression which meant that you were more likely to "die" than succeed at what your most desired opportunities were. So, the question becomes -how do you deal with your understanding of the situation at hand. For example, the "American Dream" used to be like the Jefferson's on TV - "moving on up." But this is no longer true because it seems that people are more into trying to keep what they have. Fuck the false ideal of "moving on up."  People do not want their children or themselves to lose their position like "middle class" or "working class" and end up in the "No class" or "under class." You Know! "welfare class." Remembrance could or "should" be all about the French Revolution and every time the "elites" slide back to the T-shirt -if there is no bread let them eat cake- pull out the guillotine and chop of some heads. Side Bar: we all "should" be a feminist because a the rate our society is moving men will be home; the women will be in the work force; maybe they will bring back the unions; otherwise the "elites" will simply enslave the minds of society into believing that their just reward will come in the next world. You Know! Religion. e-mail balanceincr@me.com

Saturday, September 20, 2014


It is all about the small " i," the insignificant "eye." This is when someone is in a situation & their sense of social intercourse is off on their level of engagement. This could be considered, like the "Peter Principle," a moment when one's lever of "compliance" has been breached because the "i" is slipping in the quicksands that form around the "shifting sands" sponsored by life's fiascoes.Yes! the small "i" doesn't manage, resolve or contain; it traverses the fiasco like the skier traverses the moguls coming down the slope of life, some days there is "powder," other days there is "ice." For example, someone could go out into the desert, find a large sand dune and ski off and never even get wet. For example, there is a character called "Don De Marco" talking to his doctor about being "Don Juan" from century's past, lady killer -Dream Merchant. All the "ladies" were loving him because they subscribed to his "dream." This is the small "i" living it out on a different stage. I say this because I had the same relationship with my doctor; but there were differences. My doctor could not believe that I was so stupid or so unlucky while I was reflecting about my "fiascoes" that he chose to conclude that I was delusional as "Don De Marco" when he believed that he was the "legendary lover." We had great sessions but he really believed that my "stories" where just that "stories " when, in fact, they were honest attempts toward recovery. Now it is true that I was seeing him because I was "court ordered." The S.C. court said that I needed five years of intensive indoctrination because I refused to recognize my behavior, guilt. Now for the rest of the "story": It was a "kangaroo court"  during the storm "Hugo" which slammed S.C. What I was accused of never happened; so how could I find it in my reflections? Therefore there is no "Redemption." The problem is that my doctor thought that the court testimony was truthful which it was not. His assignment was based on the "truth" of false testimony. e-mail balanceincr@me.com

Friday, September 19, 2014


If it is my job to tickle the "hell" out of you, then please bend over and allow me to stick my tongue up your "ares" and wiggle it around until you get a good belly laugh. OK! Let us put this another way: Because I am a "child" of life,  I learn "vicariously" as I do the bidding. And that usually means that I have to pull someone's head right out of their ass -first. The point that I'm trying to make is simple & yes, complex. For example, there is an expression that goes something like this: "think outside of the box." So, here is the secret: become a "box" collector, fill those boxes with "shoes" & than sell them back to the "ladies" as fashion. It's the "experience" learned "piece by piece" from playing in those boxes that puts you on the path to enlightenment, or "whatever." I'm the "disciple" from hell because it is "hell" when you get there. It is the assumption of "truth," at someone's level of knowledge about the "box"; this is what a mathematician might look at and say "degrees of freedom" because when dealing with a complex situation there are variables between and within these variables. There is nothing more "naive" than an uneducated mind because it keeps its "box" for "athletic" shoes which everyone knows only leads one to competition & "one upsmenship," which has no baring on the "validity" of the "sale" -idea. Now is the "time" to give your "box" a tickle & see if you are getting a good belly laugh. e-mail balanceincr@me.com

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Heathen...; Again & again!

Hear I sit because the state of S.C. has me in a "political" system which is eschewed in corruption. Yes! I am declaring my self a "political prisoner;" PP that's me.  The state is denying me my 13th & 14th constitutional rights under the Constitution of the U.S. of America. This is why I'm in the "union" business, the business of unionizing "felons."You Know! I am a non -citizen in the land of my birth -a man without a sanctuary. Yes! I am homeless living in a sea of "shame" brought about by the "corrupt crackers" who wield the Devil's will. So, now I carry the sign to devil stenciled on my shame -666. Heathen -666, this is their sense of a felon's value. You Know! I'm the "stick"-bitch that society likes to stick their pins into as they worship in their hollows of Voodoo. & they do it so well; yet I do think that it would excite me more if they wore just a taste of leather. Let's get real & go on the "down low" with their idea of Sodomy.  For example, Karl Menninger wrote in "man against himself" that a black man feels that it is his duty to make a white man his wife. This is the needle that S.C. uses to stick in its "stick"-bitch of a doll when it goes into the bowels of its soul & religious practices, like Voodoo. From one who has been there, there is one theme that runs through an inmate's mind when vacationing with the department of corrections & it is "what will I be tonight; will I be a "pitcher" or a"catcher." "C'est Sera Sera" the future is not mine to see, what will be will be. But the end game will be the same, the state of S.C. will stick the black man's "prick" into the white "cracker's" hole and the marriage will be consummated,  

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

"...incoming...." prejudice!

Yes! These "boys" run with the dogs; so if you lay down with the animals on some level you too become an animal, or you find society's common denominator & howl out the excuses for why you are different from those who lay down with the animals. Because! You too are "breeding" with a beast -one of the "boys."  For example, there is a situation where an individual -one of the "boys" is praised for his "anger" when he is on the ball field - gladiator ready because it has been inculcated into him, response cost. If he is programmed to respond, action is first predicated upon the learned responses, learned behaviors from his environment, family of origin, the "shit on a shingle's."  These behaviors trump all others when under the influence of extraneous variables, like "alcohol" or "anxiety" over social intercourse. Please, if you take the individual -one of the "boys" out of his environment, he still will first react as if he is there anyway. And! Then the howling out of excuses by society that this behavior is a one sided highway; the parties of the situation are not equally culpable. Give me a "fucking" break; it is a he/she stage. You provoke its effect; it is your affect; therefore it's your responsibility. OK there is a guy named Rice; "Morning Joe" is persecuting his "behavior" as if he understood the behavior. Society is acting as if it never expected this "behavior" even though it has a great history of repeating itself across all sectors of society; yet "prevalent" in the most challenged segments of  society's citizens - one of the "boys."Now!  Please tell me ,"Joe," This is Rome all over again only every citizen is acting their part in real time, 2014 not AD/BC give or take a day or two on the side of the calendar of measurement. Yes! "Joe" life is a business; it is not some social gathering that you choose to attend. Or you choose not to attend, going against it out of spite, even though there are grave consequences. So imagine if you lived in an environment where the occupants bitched about their inability to rise above their labor that consumed each member of the family; each "bitched" their spin of their daily "shit on a shingle" special.  If the behavior you seek has to come out of this kind of a "household," where do you think it could come from if it was digested in the daily "shit on a shingle" special? That is right! Where the "fuck" will the roots of your social "desires" come from if its socialization is not there in the "shit on a shingle" special of the day. 

Sunday, September 14, 2014


It's all about the money: if you have the "money," honey, I have the time. Somebody has the time when someone else has the money. Money! Money! who's got the "time?" So what is the purpose of life if "money & time" are the pathways to "Joy?" I personally do not have this mind set: Because to me there seems to be some way to combine "work & calling" - something that comes from within after it has had a time to percolate from the conundrum of the "soul." So the "cause" is personal growth. So let your calling be your personal growth through a confluence with others. Yes! How about being apart of the "fabric" of that which is naturally coming out of you. You & I are the cause behind life because we are living when we are involved with others. When we are self absorbed in the mission over "objects" instead of purpose we lose the natural relations of community that is needed to sustain us in the fabric of society. For example, most of us are not test tube babies, we were formed inside of the body of a woman, mother. Now maybe you did not have a good relationship with your mother; but it's the metaphor that I'm using because you come out of the womb;  Motherhood is a different "kettle of fish" which is larger than you. It is like social justice over the rebirth of purpose of containment in Prison. For example, consider abortion! Instead of coming into life with a "spirit," I might have been formed in the test tube, or like a petri dish sample being formed in the laboratory. And there would be no -soul of spirit - just another avatar taking their place in a Fascist form of socialization. Prison does not allow for the -soul of spirit, it neuters creativity into propaganda, turning the individual into a "garbage disposal" that consumes for the sake of consumption and the local land fill. Also, the prison could have been planted when you were forming; therefore, there would be no desires for actualization, only conformity of behavior with a prospect of redemption in the after life, recycling.        

Friday, September 12, 2014


Could it be mine? No! This is not my image coming out of the colors. But it is not out of the "question" or -off the table that it "could" be a memory from my past. Understanding is coming our way: "May Yesterday's Dream be Tomorrow's Memory." Yes! Today our wishes could come "true." Everything that we worked on Yesterday could come into fruition today blessing us with Yesterday's wish. Therefore, Tomorrow's memory could be about Yesterday's blessings. And! The heat of the "beat" goes on Today's calendar because if we give it our all it could work out as it does sometimes in our dreams. It's our Aura's way of freeing the light being generated within our souls, our spirit or our humanity; this is the emerging image. Maybe the idea behind life is the quality of its time. For example, as the expression goes, "rags to riches to rags again in 2 generations because "Rags" made the money where "Riches" spent the money by squandering it on pleasures perceived to be those of their station in life; without realizing that, it is the conservation of money that give one the perceived toys need to sustain the privilege of having "old" money. I suppose that it also could be that the son of the founder believed that it was their right of passage to represent the "fruit fly's" way of going about attracting a mate. And! No I do not know how a "fruit fly" goes about attracting a mate, nor should anyone else out side of another "fruit fly." The idea of one's Aura is to shine light upon others within the community so that compassion might be fostered instead of "fruit flies" Now! being the "fly" on the wall as they say is a "fly" of a different species. The "fly" on the wall is all about giving good council like the consigliere in the movie "the God Father"     

Thursday, September 11, 2014


I know how the "Jew" felt when no one would make room for him; when he was running from Hitler's effect upon Germany, & yes! -upon the world. I am a "political" prisoner in the strange land of my birth. For, the same reason as the "Jew" was rejected by the then standing ruling "elites." Because power effects how you are seen; whether you are recognized or not recognized depends upon how others choose to dispense with you; it's their effect being burnished with your disintegration. Think! What is it about this sort of "reddish" flower with some what of a purple aura retrieving form your mind's eye? Could it be the heart of the "Jew" escaping the terror of Nazi like thinking, or maybe it's the assault on ISIS that is foremost in your mind. Could it be the way that the flower's surface mimics the texture of Man's brain; & still, you cannot see the sense of the political mind- how it collects its "political" prisoners, and the labeling begins to twist, distorting the idea of its being. Maybe you just see a red flower because life's future is inconsequential as far as you are concerned. Yes, if it were a pile of hamburger, you could relate more or less to a good sandwich like I had after the Art exhibit on Toulouse - Lautrec this past weekend in the "big apple." I went to "Burger heaven" just up the street from the Museum of Modern Art. So, just maybe, it is true that "life & art" distort one another as it is perceived over time, long live the Christian's Crusades over morality's way of life; but please stay away from making the "cow" a sacred object like religion and "fucking" up a good hamburger sandwich.   

Who, me?

Everything is in your brain; your mind is out to lunch & there you are on Facebook telling "lies" like, I'm 31 years old; I just fell off the "cabbage patch truck," will you be my friend. You're fishing the streams that used to come out only at night, in the dark. Now! Your are a FB junkie; you need a fix. You have been buried so, so long like "Dr. Jekyll & Hyde" & FB is your "main -line." You know! You can be because it was Shakespeare who said, "...all the world is a stage...." & It's your FB world; your FB stage; so it's your duty to play many of the roles. For example, this weekend I went to the theater and saw "A gentleman's guide to love and murder." One of the actors played 9 individual characters during the production; just like me and you when we get hooked up and charged for "as the world turns." Another moment to moment shedding of our skins, snake-ish is how I refer to it. Maybe it is another way of pitching the old story about "eve, the snake & the Big Apple." Now! In my case I am visiting  Brooklyn, NY, the home of the "big" Apple. And! My snake-ish appetite is looking for an "apple" for its EVE. On FB we can play the trifecta because it's win -place or show. It's FB. You Know! So, please look at the picture being presented; deem the facial characteristics to be the object against which you project your twisted prejudices. Be what they are for you; we are fishing in the same streams of reflected fantasy coming into fruition's imagination. I want to find my FB friend who knows what I need to know about creating a T-shirt to represent "theblackmarket.me" She could live in NJ & be CEO of herself.  But! She would make the best "secretary" of  "ideation." This is what I need & she is probably working for -Wally World- in NJ. But if she comes out of my FB family I could give a flying "fuck" what pod she lived in during her work a day life.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Open Sesame!

So, you're in the subway and you are presented with two options: continue to walk or get on the escalator. Now! you can either walk or "vacation" meaning, on the escalator, effort is not required, yet it still gets you there faster than if you had walked. This is the metaphor that I'm trying to replicate when dealing with how resources are distributed across society. In this example, I'm stepping into the world of real estate. New Mexico said that you need a real estate license to sell pieces of real property because you are acting as a fiduciary to the "act," witness; therefore, self best interest goes along with the property & integrity. "Equality" is on the escalator and "special interest" are walking. Than, South Carolina, which once had the same policy as New Mexico, changed its policy so that a license was not required to sell pieces of real property; therefore, neither  "equality or integrity" were ever on the table. In this case " equality & integrity" are walking and "special interests" are on the escalator, buyer beware. This is the distribution of power. In South Carolina power is top down; In New Mexico power is bottom up. My point being is: Nepotism -meaning family connected, rains/reins " ...not on the plain..." but in "special interest." This is why you must stop walking & take the escalator. YES: www.theblackmarket.me could be the "felon's" escalator. For example, South Carolina is a "right to work state;" as an individual, you have no "fucking" power. Power is top down with the Machiavelli touch. But, if get on the escalator & join "theblackmarket.me" as a union of voices screaming out that there is culpability on the part of distribution; you will be heard because you will be a corporation and get the right's of litigation on "employment," that's right: a felon's social security program based upon denied employment.           

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Skin game.

The seed must die -in human terms- to become what you can. Yesterday died so that today could live; therefore today will die so that tomorrow will live. Think "moment to moment" management's decisions based upon "containment or resolution" principles. To be alive is to be without judgment so that you can listen to that which is being said, plus the "why" of it. The "why" of it stays where it is; we move out and about from stage to stage where each 'Why" of it is applied.  Every stage has its own "why" of it. Every day we play so many different roles as we go about our daily routine, not thinking about how these roles unfurl; they just do because it is who we are, it is our nature. Flexibility of "style" is how freely the skin of the past comes pealing off, freeing from the old & acquiring the new. For example,  the meaning of "is" to ISIS is the meaning of Spartacus to Rome. Today the U.S. is Rome. So to deal with ISIS you must understand that their learned memories are all emotional when dealing with the land that they walk across. Like Putin of  Russia taking back Crimea because it belong to the U.S.S.R. empire. ISIS belongs to the Ottoman Empire and it's taking it back. The Allies had no right to split up the tribe's land when they contoured the empire up into states. Giving the House of Saud top billing with the Arabian peninsula. Sunni is the governing arm of their belief system; Shia is the religious side of the system. Shia law is their meaning to what "is" is. There will never be a two state solution with Israel; ISIS knows this; it is the U.S. that does not have any "skin" in the game.  The U.S. has a financial interest in the Middle East, but it does not have any "emotion." To the U.S. the Middle East is a game of mental masturbation; it's intellectual not intercultural. This is because it does not understand that there is no more land to be discovered, like the U.S. was discovered in 1776 so it took the land away from Great Britain. Remember the Allies took it -land- away from the Ottomans at the end of WWII. ISIS -ISIL are the children of the Ottoman Empire, the children of the land known as the Middle East. The U.S only wants to recognize their founding fathers as "patriots" and all others subject to being call "terrorists."

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Discovery's creativity....

It happens every moment of ever moment, yet it is never discovered. The moment that you understand someone else through one of your own discretion, titillating as it is to imagine its possibilities, having a private mirror into another soul. Now when I review my daily read from "Facebook," there is one in particular which is very scintillating because its effect is very titillating; it will arouse their effect too. What I know now is that "she" gets the same feed as I do at the same time as I do so that if my imagination wonders she is there to reel me back in. Yes! It is her "morning" feed of porn: I feel as if I'm the fly on the wall; the voyeur behind the lens buried deep in her psyche as she feeds from the program being offered for her pleasures of self dining within her panties. Her fingers "...doing the walking..." as they say, the Yellow pages of yesterday's dreams.  Anyway! My morning feed from Facebook spans the world. I get the feed from TheBlackMarket.me. My friends on Facebook " walk without feet; fly without wings; & think without mind" as they explode like the quiet firecrackers they are all over the skies of possibilities being dished out on my morning's feed from Facebook. I cannot believe that I got talked out of acquiring #10,000 shares at $17 and change. Today, shares are running around $65 and change. I lost out with Facebook even though that I knew the secret. Now! I know a new "secret": will I let it slip through my fingers as I let Facebook get away or will I remain the voyeur behind the lens buried deep into her libido. To me, it is all about privacy: the other person's privacy has to be freely relinquished otherwise there are boundaries to be respected. Serendipity is and has always been the third rail between "moment to moment" & " this too will pass." Knowing what I know now about this particular "she" I feel happy for her because everyone need a "get out of jail free" card if they get lock up in a situation which is not enough. To be honest with you, she does not need for me to know that she is feeding on the stuff to be "sexy;" she is a woman with a brain that is very creative in "freeing others of their old assumptions" so that they can "discern previously unseen patterns" that will allow them to come and touch, taste, tap into & toy with you. It is all yours to share with others for "that which is ours is yours alone." Side bar: "may yesterday's dream be tomorrow's memory."   

Tuesday, September 2, 2014


Open up to life's possibilities, worry not about the possibility of "sin" because according to Updike "you cannot get there from here." Why? Because there is no "sin" without contempt; everyone knows that there is no pleasure in contempt. So first be someone who is growing & willing to give up what "is" for the possibility of what could be. There is no "sin" in your DNA; "sin" comes when the individual disobeys the wishes from someone else & their beliefs- for example, one's religion or one's social contract that does not ever take the individual into consideration unless it is by way of a threat against their life in the next world. "Fuck" the next world; it is the time spent in this world that offers the individual a memory for whatever eternity is in store for whomever, like whatever. Now, please remember -probability has no way to get a handle on the truth to the query about the "afterlife." How do you even take the "afterlife" into consideration for when the moment comes, it is so solipsistic to begin to imagine because life will no longer be on the table. That is right; when someone dies they are no longer on the table of life. So stop being a foolish so & so and stand up on life's table and set your site on the horizon in front of the opportunity awaiting to be harvested by you my friend. Because the key to understanding is realizing that it is so foolish to end up like me living my life as a "face book friend" instead of being in life and living on the various Shakespearean situations which abound aplenty out and about in the community;
commune with life.   

Saturday, August 30, 2014


This is last night's setting sun setting over the Ashley River upon whose river banks I reside. Yes! Nature is very captivating to say the least because one's emotions could get tangled up with their misunderstandings. Do we want the day to end; or, do we want to hold on to its familiar pathways blessing us in "sin?" Also, I do want to remind everyone that just around the corner there is an establishment called the "wild joker," a N. Charleston "titty bar" where the same sun is setting in its remembrance as well. But there you could get bathed in real "sin." All my remembrance is over Charlestown landing, the home of the first settlers in the neighborhood. All of these descendents are from pirates because Charleston is and has always been a place for the underworld to meet and prosper; that is to say, "if you got the money 'honey,' I got the time." But I am there too, only I do not know what I was thinking or even the fact that I did indeed think; it could be that I just reacted to the way things unfolded around me. To me my life is over as the day is over because I question my memory's epistemic value, how truthful are my thoughts. For example,  my memories could have shifted when I was emotionally traumatized by the state of S.C., dramatizing its effect.  For sure!  Depression and suicide became the parallel tracks that took me through prison, then into 5 years of mental health therapy, "fucking" torture. Yes! for 5 years I had to attend weekly group meetings for mental health sessions with Charleston County mental health division of  S.C. The idea was to indoctrinate me into admitting that I was a "rapist" when in fact there never was a "rape." Than they put a target on my back when S.C. listen me as a "rapist" living in Charleston at 22 Bennett st. Talk about negative reinforcement. Now we are all different but I simply could not hold back the fear any longer; therefore, to survive I lost all sense of self in the moment of surviving my daily toxic environment including my memories. So that on some occasions, I question the memory at hand because it seems to have come from a vicarious source such as a book or T.V. What is truth & what is fiction. Also, when you have gone through mental trauma it is not unusual for memories to be lost. So, you see sometimes a picture can be deceiving when you do not understand the composition of the picture; Yes! I the "voyeur" am taking the picture because it is my only evidence of the moment: this is what I know; this is what I saw. Here is the picture: The individual interacts with others in relation to their past relations with people, their experiences; if all of the reinforcement has been negative, where can the positive behavior come from? It must come from positive reinforcement: Please remember to imagine your thought's environment in relation to others so that you can bring about your ideas, to get your needs met. Really! Learning takes place when the brain understands the meaning behind the desired action to be taken to bring about the desired behavior.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Never! no.

I have no "idea." It's the Stockholm syndrome I suppose: please do not hold me responsible after you stomped this shit into my head. The accepted negative format coming back on itself, like a piranha from one of the South American streams chowing down on someone's ass. Yes! This is the truth because society is very cruel when it thinks that it has been crossed. The mob will form for anyone of the various causes that gets touted about on a daily bases. When I think about myself, the way in which prison's effect destroyed my past because I died in prison, meaning that the life form that entered prison is not the life form that came back out, brainless & without past memories, scrambled anyway. Now! Life is quicksand because their is no control when society feels it has been crossed. Yes! I believe that I must be falling in love with my captors since I claim that I am a "political" prisoner.  I am a felon in society's prison; it's "the icicle garden," where every day is a snow day. The U.S.S.R. had Siberia's gulags & the U.S. has its prison mentality of separating its population by class distinction, like felon on the bottom never to become touchable unless politically connected to the power elites. Than you can run for State office; "you know" like the Senate in S.C.  What can I say, in this world of ours -yours and mine- we have to accept those who stomp away on our "liberties" or we will be denied our "rights;" this is said to be done in the name of safety, homeland security. Picture the inner workings of Machiavelli's take on the Marquis de Sade's inner sense of balancing his pleasures as they bounce -out and about- on the happy environs of desire.  The "Prince" was all about inculcating the masses into control by dominating over their resources like de Sade tortured his victims for his own gratification -orgasm. Yes! "the times they are changing..." but the fucking power structure; its connection to the corrupt streams flowing from the churches' dogma on "redemption" is polluted so as to foster "polio" of the soul.

Sunday, August 24, 2014


When the "mouse" takes control of spell check, I cannot stand those red lines for they challenge me so I want my "fucking" mouse back.  I cannot spell my way out of yesterday's underpants if you catch my drift. OK! It started working again! What a relief to get rid of the red lines about spelling. It is just amazing how much I can get those 26 letters messed up, out of sequence. Life could be made simple if only: Imagine that you were in a circle of 26 people, each representing one of the letters in the alphabet, each with its unique sound so that you can mix & match letter -strings into word -strings to maximize the day's journal entry. The individual is as unique or subtle as is the sounds of the letters in one's alphabet; now the differences can be tricky when you, let's say translate English to french; yet, sound is not taken into consideration lending this to contribute to misunderstandings. Now! With my mouse, I have "right click" on the mouse and the word is corrected by a tape of the "finger"; use the index figure and have fun with yourself. I do not have "right click" on people so I am still getting them wrong, how about you? That is why I ask you to get into a circle of 26 people, see if you can discern their "right click." Meanwhile, since the circle is formed check out the different sounds coming from the unique differences that each in the circle are radiating out. It has been said by those who are much brighter than I am, as long as you are in the circle listening to the sounds of others in the circle, the greater your understanding of the character and timber of those in the circle. Yes! please imagine what kind of "memoir" you could write if you took the time to participate with those in your circle of friends, allowing for their differences as you explored the many difference within yourself.  I wish people had a "right click" like my Mouse does.      

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Water "sports!"

Let me be: "let it be...." When everything is on the table, you are on the table too: Meaning, action is continuously in motion as your stomach's respiratory system is. Action is the tangential force nurturing the optimal outcome. For example, "fear" is the absence of action for action is fearless because it is action that makes the world go round, not fear and procrastination. Yes, it is true that there are consequences for each move being made moment to moment as life moves on. Let me tell you a "story": in the complex where I live the water bill is part of the regime's monthly costs. So, if the water is being wasted than it is my responsibility as a citizen of the corporation's alliance to speak up; I said to the little cigarette smoking oriental looking man who was spraying the plants from the opposite side of the driveway, flooding the drive between himself and the bushes, " water is 'very' expensive." Yes that was it; for he shut the water off, went home. Now, I do not know why he did not just walk across the drive, spraying the bushes and not wasting water.  So, what am I saying? The oriental looking man understood the consequences of his actions and acted appropriately. As for myself, I was hoping that the  man had some of his Divine DNA in his family's tree because he could take offense. By his actions, he did not question this funny looking old white man wearing a foolish hat on his head with a feather sticking out of it portraying an image, that he could be a beast of nature. You Know! I would not want to engage in a long conversation over his socialization if I did not have to, especially on my way to turn the water on at the pool, because the real temperature here in Charleston today will be 107, at this temperature water evaporates drearily. But the pool must stay at a steady level to run it properly for the use of the guests. I'm not a guest, I'm a victim of a foolishly constructed  homeowners contract. I do not use the pool so the water level means nothing to me; yet nature means everything to me. I would rather be watering the plants & bushes properly than what I was on my way to do, turning the water spigot on, allowing water into the pool so that the sun can suck it up. Yes! mother nature will also spit it right back at me in the form of one of S.C.'s stormy hurricanes. But when I get that "water" back it is not on my sewer bill; it is covered by my insurance's obligation. The "Beatles" strike again, "let it be....

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Innocence Project

I want to form a union of felons because I'm a felon without "rights;" every felon in the state of S.C. has been persecuted because of who they were, felons. Felons are the new "slave class" in the U.S.  when you cannot go before the courts because of previous behavior that had been adjudicated and resolved yet reactivated when the laws change. For example, the sex offender registry did not exist when I was sentenced and it did not come into effect until after I was released from prison. Yet, because of political corruption and judicial collusion, I have been tethered to the cross because I will not confess to a crime that I did not commit. I herd story after story while I was in prison from inmates who said that they had confessed to their crime because the "rogue" prosecutors intimidated them into confessing guilt for a lighter sentence or go to trial and end up serving life in prison instead of the bargaining down with the judge who has sway over the prosecutor. For example. I went before the Real Estate Commission looking to get my Real estate license back; so that I could work for BlueGreen a real estate company marketing the "Lodge Alley Inn" in Charleston, S.C - Otherwise known as a "job." Jinny purchase a membership in the "lodge Alley Inn" so I could use it as a free family vacation raffle for Charleston County school district. Jinny wanted to connect to the community so that she was giving back. The winning family from the school district would get to use the right to trade through out the trading system, like Disney World in Florida or wherever. So, the idea was to use the Lodge Alley Inn as as place to meet others and have the privacy of a suite for private bathroom usage for the ladies at night.  The night that they fired me was the night set for Jinny's function and therefore we had to call all the guests up and tell them that it was canceled. They did this so that they could make the guest take a tour first. They did not care that it was a research project that Jinny was doing on the subject of "transportation" and schools for children, like the "Child & Family Development Center," at  the old Charleston Naval base. This was not a BlueGreen event. This event was paid for by Jinny and BlueGreen wanted to pirate the event.   That very night the guests were going to be asked to fill out the "transportation quest" we wanted a true reaction so the guest thought they were meeting with Jinny to explore the facilities that she was offering to those who come together for a good cause. But, the true "meaning" was to come at them with a clean slate: with the question on "transportation" their data was important because  they were to be the "control" for the study.  I took the matter up in small claims court; the "judge" SAID " it does not "matter" the only thing that mattered was that he was the "Master of History" and he personally knew all of my history; do you thing you can win in my court room?" This is what the judge said to me; he did not care that I needed a license to do the job, I could go to jail if I lied to a prospect because I am supposed to have a fiduciary relationship with them. No lies! He said that the real estate commission had no value to anything. I have no "rights." I cannot get due process in the state of S.C. So, it seemed to me that if "Nothing -a group of people" can become a corporation; than the corporation becomes a person, and therefore get the right's of a person. How about the inverse? OK! So, I  become a corporation and as a corporation, I can act like a corporation can act; I can litigate the terms of these restrictions being placed on my ability to get employment. I want to get corporate rights to get my human rights under the 13th amendment of the Constitution of the U.S. I think that their is a legal precedent because a corporation by its very nature of being incorporated becomes a citizen too, with all the rights of an individual; therefore, as an individual I also "should" be able to become a corporation and as such get the rights of a corporation to litigate over labor. Also, if I were a corporation I would welcome unionization, become a union member just like Constantine did when he became a Christian, 300 AD Rome.  As a member of the "union,"  I'm asking for the evidence about the Law, not the "statute" of prejudiced because the prosecutor screamed to the jury: "he is a 'time share salesman' what chance did she have." Now the prosecutor knew that she was tampering with the jury because I sold "family vacations" and that was my history. I was fired from most of the resorts on the beach because I would not lie to the family about their vacation possibilities, for example,  I would not sell it as an investment in real estate, as in renting it out and making money. If it is a right to work state why do you need a "license" which cost money to get and carries a liability with it?  Now today, you do not need a license to sell vacation programs because the "southern elites of S.C did not want to protect the consumer they want to fleece the consumer; that is why the S.C legislature removed the licensing requirement needed to sell these programs. But, when I was involved a license was required; therefore there was a tertiary contract between the state and license holder. I'm a political prisoner who needs a way to get relief because when I went up for a Pardon it was turned down for political reasons meaning that I did not have an honest opportunity for getting the pardon; this cost $15000 reduced to $12,500 if paid in cash for something that could not happen; the state of S.C put a "sting" on me. The state of SC allowed me to think that I could get a Pardon if I did every thing legally but in fact this was not politically possible; the state is a "fucking" fraud.      

Sunday, August 17, 2014

"La La" land.

In today's world it is all about politics. Yes! This is the truth - it may not be your truth; but it is society's truth. It's the truth of "La La" Land. Now this is why I believe that if "felons" united by joining together -the act in itself is Kafkaesque- their assembly becomes the "stage" - upon which they have a "voice." If there is a "voice" than others can hear it. So if there is no "voice" how does one expect others to hear the "quiet" turmoil boiling away? Therefore WWW.theblackmarket.me is the place to be. It's the way of Kafka. "It will set one free of old assumptions, to discern previously unseen patterns, and to dare. Come touch, taste, tap, toy with, discover and rekindle that which is ours yet yours alone," the Humanities. There in the Humanities one can find the political way -once one is unionized. For example, let's say that one became a legal corporation, let's say I was a corporation, I could force arbitration; the felon would become the attorney's best friend all over again. What a fantasy it would be if the felon could sue the potential employer for refusing their opportunity of success based upon the grounds of being a felon. Think about it; if a corporation is a person & a person can become a corporation what restricts the felon from suing on grounds of discrimination, using the corporate view of arbitration, litigation. This is exactly what I'm in the process of doing, becoming a corporation's citizen. Then I'm going to take it wherever it will take me because wherever I go there will be a record of their actions as evidence of corruption due to political pressures. Bu if the truth be known, they tried to kill me once. I know this because I heard the story going around from one of the regulars who attended the "jail house" in Carrizozo, N.M. It could be that he just liked having a private cell - I slept in the bullpen & we shared a common area out side of the toilets; it was a setting out of the wild west. The dude was one of the local shamans. He told me that he saved my life only because I offered him help one cold and snowy night in the town of Ruidoso, N.M. He said that they were coming to get me if they could. Do not fool yourself into believing that there is justice. As per my very own experience, there is no law other than the law of "power" & money - the laws that govern the masses on behalf of the few, the elites. Imagine dubbing Kafka's cape and seeing how the masses are morphing into the "betel" of the day, hogtied.

Saturday, August 16, 2014


OK! Let's get with the "program" - this is what she said to me because I was in the habit of using the word, "should." It would tear her a new asshole because in her mind it was being disrespectful for she preferred the word "could." She "could" do this or that or any other thing that she so desired; but by no way other than fucking hell was I or anyone one else going to tell her she "should" do anything. You Know! For me it had been a life time thing to say "should" if I thought it was consequential. One day she broke down and told me the story behind her anger: One day while out riding on the back of a motorcycle the guy pulled over on a dirt road and put her through the "should" program and she ended up giving him a blow job. This was now a "metaphor" that floated around the game of our love play; she would go from heaven to hell instantly upon hearing the bedeviled tone coming out of my mind's tongue, "Victoria you "should"...; before I had the chance to kick myself in the ass she was getting out her "strap-on;" through the process of "pegging" my ass, I was going to get a taste of her fucking revenge. So yes, I came to the conclusion that if there was ever going to be any kind of a compromise, I was going to have to become just another one of her disciples. Anyway, our relationship ended rather abruptly, when she came home from a hard day's work I presented her with my wonderful new experience of traveling through space. Yes! This is what I believe happened on that day of mediation. She would go to work; I would go into my man cave; light a candle placing it at the base of my mirror of reflection where I would relax the frames of my mind, thereby giving me back my spent yesterdays. She thought I was talking about astral projection; but no I told her that while I was out and about on my afternoon walk in the park that I stepped off of the curb and ended up by stepping onto the street up the block. Yes! she attributed it to me doing "drugs" and only hallucinating. I said, "No! it is all because of you; you are such a wonderful source of energy." Than we got into this argument about her "energy" -meaning when she leaves the house she leaves behind a most juicy energy; "it fires me up," I said. This is where I fucked up: I told her that I got along better with her "afterglow" of energy than I did with her when she was home. Anyway! She kicked me out of the house and told me to go back to the beach and hang out with the rest of the broken "pieces" of shells.    

Friday, August 15, 2014

Marvin's "tulip"

"What is going to be with you Tom?" I do not know why he said it. This is what Marvin would say to me all the time; I was Marvin's "gentile," every one had to have one in their crowd; so, I was Marvin's; he could always say, "you see I know one," there I would be the country "mouse" visiting the city "rat." His heart was in the right place; it's his ego that I would question. Why did he have to waste his time bringing me into his world view. I was happy being the Irish dude from the suburbs. You Know! The country mouse visiting the city rat. What can I say Marvin was from the city. Yes! Marvin was a Jew from Boston, Ma. Now Boston is a great town, "little city" by the bay. I should tell you how I met Marvin, I just got out of the military service; it was 1968, March. I moved back to my mother's 4 family apartment building in Waltham, Ma. So, on the first morning of my new civilian life I woke up to Marvin pitching my mother on aluminum siding for the outside of her property. That is right; Marvin was an aluminum siding sales man; to be honest he did own the franchise for Boston and its environs. So, he had a job. I was going back to school on the G.I. Bill, Boston University to be exact. I also had a wife for a very short period of time, when she realized that I was not what she thought I was while I was in the employment of the U.S. government, living with her in Paris, France she decided to do what every young girl from her generation would do, she ran off with the first guy who came around and corner and said to her, I'll be your Sir Walter Raleigh. Now! In her case, the little prick was my brother; you know the song "he's not heavy, he's my brother"- well yes he did me the favor of a life time, he ran off with her. Anyway, back to Marvin and his neurotic ways. He once told me that when he had a girl over visiting at his apartment and he had to take a piss he would first fill the toilet bowl up with toilet tissue so that she would not hear him pissing in the bowl. Can you believe that fucking "turkey," he was wondering what was going to happen with me and all the time he is filling up his toilet bowl with tissues so that some "young thing" would not believe that he pissed out of the head of his foolish looking penis. 


I must tell you this because you are there to listen: I went to prison for a crime that is based on perjured testimony of two women; anyway, while I was in the joint I started to lose control; my brain started to shut down as a defensive mechanism. When I got out of prison I had 5years of probation to attend, as well as 5 years of psychological therapy. This therapy was based upon the perjured testimony of two women who I believe testified for financial gain; but I had to attend weekly meeting based upon becoming to grips with the "truth," that the perjured testimony was all in my mind's eye of "denial." By the time the 5 years were over I had attempted suicide once because the system was torturing me mentally. For example, I was deemed so far gone that my "college loans" were forgiven by the U.S. government. Yes! I got so hooked on the perversion of sexual therapy because it was force fed to me by the state of SC each day until I became "bulimic" with it. Yes! They wanted me to confess to their lies as if the "perjured" testimony were true. What fucking ass holes! Anyway that is why I am a Craigslist junky; that is right -Craigslist is my psychological therapy of the day; it's perverse when you want it to be perverse just like those 5 years that the state of SC forced me to attend. Now for the meat of the matter: my many friends on "Facebook" are much more interesting than the dilettantes perusing Craigslist, anyway. My Facebook page dishes up the most wonderful smorgasbord of goodies; my friends feed me with their distorted sense of mental masturbation. Yes! My brain is in love with this trashy side of itself.   I'm not really sure what that says about about my friends on "Facebook;" maybe it's their craziness or their sanity whichever, I am on the wave somewhere in between the two riding the winds that touch their souls as they crash along with one another. This is my caravan. This is my song: " two lost souls on the highway of life:"  "Facebook" & "Craigslist" 

Thursday, August 14, 2014

de...cision, Cut Off!

Why is it hard to make a decision? To me,  decision is a cost because I acquired something new, or I got rid of something old. I like things to happen on their own merit without conscious effort, simple living.  The one thing that I know for sure is that I have not attained enlightenment in my life; how about you? But doing "something" is much different because it has an immediate gratification tied along with the completion of the task; like today, I took the pressure washer to my deck. Now! My deck looks new; I felt "accomplished" even though it was a task long overdue. No negatives coming my way - all my vibes are positive. It's my body that is feeling the pain; my mind is out with the fairies of yesterday, whatever that means. I do not have anything new to contend with; I have a clean deck to be sure. When I wake up tomorrow I will feel as if I do indeed deserve to take the day off because I have the evidence right in front of me. My clean new deck will ring out loud and clear that yes he did this all by himself, never giving way to temptation to put it off until the big moon comes around again. What I like are sub-totals because you can add or detract from it; it still "could" be a subtotal because it is but a snapshot in time. Yes! To me "life" is supposed to have an ebbing quality to it, more like "you are on it" rather than "you are in it" and on & in you go down the "yellow brick road." I can see passing something on to the next person; so, I suppose that is not a loss because you did not get rid of something you simply allowed it to move on, "tribal" you see, in the nature of sharing. Anyway, the long and the short of it, "Choices" over "decisions," this way you can pick out what you need when you need it; so the remainder can be there for when it is needed. Meanwhile, there is no need to become uncomfortable about rejecting today's options for there will always be a tomorrow to try all over  again.  

"Castration" or "Guillotined!"

You fucked up because you were not conscious when you were supposed to be or could have been due to being distracted by the turmoil of your inner mind -  this cognitive dissonance that comes alive when you are cavalierly playing with the strings of your soul. This means that you fucked up because you were not in concert with humanities' "best interests;" but your own "best interest." You do this because the Law is "lawless." You have the constitution as the "guide." For example, when the 4 Gospels of the bible were being written there was the "quote book" of Jesus. Your constitution is your "quote book." Think of it this way, the 4th gospel of John, was written with the letters of a learned Roman, Paul, who gave Jesus the status of God because Constantine  the emperor of Rome wanted to convert into being the power behind the throne of the most powerful, God. This was his conversion to Christianity. James, the brother of Jesus, did not believe this to be true, but than he could not write because he was illiterate, as was Jesus; their side of the story is not written . So Paul the "outcast" got the last word with the Gospel of John. And since that day the "elites" of power have been defining what goes into the "quote book" of governance to guide today's gospel of interpretations. Please remember there were many more gospels written; but Constantine wanted all them destroyed because like a kid he wanted his god to be all god; therefore, your god and you had to get out of town. Does this sound familiar to you because it is what ISIS is saying to its population today, convert or die just like when the movement first came out of Rome, convert or die. So, I suggest that you become conscious about your environment because on average the average individual will break the law on a daily basis and not realize that a law was broken because it was against their common sense of what a law was all about. You are in "check mate" before you move your first "rook." Let your imagination flow freely; imagine if you will the stories of the "Crusades." How the Gospel of the day governs how and when the holy lands are to be managed, never resolved because it's its privilege to proselytize. Remember Clinton, "It depends on the meaning of is, is;" ISIS is here because it is its it, it is a mindset, "the meaning of is, is." Its name is a symbol which draws out the four horse man of some trilogy flapping in one's psyche. observing the letters you can see "is" in the right eye; "is" in the left eye and as Red Skeleton said, "shed a tear and there "is" mud in your eye." Only when he said it he was referring to a grain of sand in your right and left eye; for he was the "sand man" of your dreams. Let me also say that the way of the U.S. "elites" manages its social contract with its people they should be thankful that they are citizens of the new world order,  not like most of us a citizen of the U.S.  How the hell did "you" get here from there when, as Updike said, "you can't get there from here," via the "Rabbit" trilogy. Side bar: "Rabbit" opens up with "black guys" playing the "hoops." "Rabbit" died with "black guys" playing the "hoops" and a lot of your constitutional rights have been chiseled away from your social contract with government and its white "elites." Updike was couching the white middle class's rise after the war with the "black guys" stain of yesterday's utility; the slave in transition as the concrete was stained by the labor of the old "ice house." Yes, refrigeration replaced the "ice house;" the water's stain ran down the gutter to the corner of the road where the "black guys" were shooting hoops. How does it feel watching the "black guys" shooting hoops while you wait around to get "guillotined" out of the game like the -black man- was "castrated" out with welfare.  

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

shell "game"

It does not help to hold anything back because, if you do, what you are doing is stacking the deck against yourself. You want everything on the "table" or access to it. This is how you stay connected within and balanced through out life; if only you could be your very own "worm hole" inside of your brain's internal "internet." That way you could "skip" across the WWW's as a note "skips" along the scale. Bring about your own personal "port hole" into the WWW's inner possibilities.  I just love the idea of being able to "worm hole" my "port hole." If you can suspend your disbelief, foster a more theatrical presence, you would become blessed by the natural way of its functioning. You would be integrated with what Jung referred to as archetypes: Your very own constellation of planets in the heavens representing your understanding of time in space. Probability is based upon a given fractional relationship to the whole. Holding something off of the table miscues this relationship into a false sense of understanding the situation: rightly, wrongly or some where in between. For example, when you incur a countenance so that others can follow, you will be helping to facilitation the direction being taken by others; therefore the group's harmony will ring out from its "sweet spot." You see what I mean about not taking anything off of the table? Because if you do, then life is no longer a personal journey between you and nature's offerings. Now the exception to the rule- there is always and exception to the rule-  is that others are not allowed on your table unless they have been invited because they add something to the mix. Life is full of detractors so keep your table clear of the extraneous "pack rat" tendencies which live in the recesses of your fears.       

Monday, August 11, 2014


OK! Hear we go on the little train of "imagination"- I'm a stranger -"A stranger in the night;" I slip in beside myself,  eavesdropping in on my own conversation with others like myself who are out and about. Would "you" have understood what I wanted "you" to consider, or would "you" question the fact about my own understanding of the conversation. Did my conversation reflect that I  understood what you were talking about. I'm telling you, as the "stranger" eavesdropping in on conversations, I might come off misunderstanding what the encounter is all about. My conclusions about myself are still in the "jury room" because I know that if I allow for the differences between us and validate those differences, than a bridge can be created to span those differences allowing for a more comfortable confluence of ideas. Now! The surprising thing with me is that I communicate more easily with another stranger than I do with some acquaintance. With acquaintances, some of their differences awaken a tingling in the back of my mind's eye, as they say. For example, it seems that you have to make allowances for their unspoken mannerisms. You know - the way that they are comfortable with carrying themselves, their countenance. Yes! You could say it's all about how you displace space, your own "space." How much of your space is occupied at any given moment. Are you living in the moment, or I a "fantasy" world? Plus, according to those who profess to know and study the hermeneutics of society say that an individual might be using about 4% of self in any give moment, 4% present in the "moment" & 96% absent from any given encounter with others. So it seems to me that the key to the exercise is that I "should" listen with an open mind to foster an awareness of what "is" so  that I could attain that which can be. Remember what the "pres" said:"it depends on what the meaning of "is" is. Because! "Creativity is all about freeing your self of old assumptions. Discerning previously unseen patterns, daring to come touch, taste, tap, toy with and discover that which is ours is yet your alone." A stolen quote from the "humanities."

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Morning's "high"

The beetle is a curious metaphor for transitioning your idea. I was think about Kafka, a son of WWI, dealing with his demons, passing his journey onto you by way of the "Metamorphoses."  The inward struggle for attaining balance, placing yourself in your own room only to awake to find that you could not get out because when you awake form your slumber you where not what you were when you went to slumber; you awoke from your slumber while your form was changing into that of a "beetle." I juxtaposed it to Germany's awaking from her WWII slumber, assaulting the U.S. with the famous "beetle" bug that was so so cheap and so so affordable it put you on the side of the "Go", transportation. The same metaphor either trapped you or freed you;  The U.S. was going through "high cotton" with the " the roaring 20's." Europe was cooing out of WWI with its "soul" in question. Nietzsche said that god was dead.  That is what he thought about man's inhumanity because if god were alive than man could not commit such sin. WWII is a sweet gift that keeps on giving because Europe was at it again; they where destroying their infrastructure to such a degree that it set the U.S. economy in full swing, and its young men off to the universities with the G.I. bill in their back pocket courtesy of the U.S. government for their participation in supporting the efforts of freedom in Europe during the war. The U.S. always wins when the two sides of Europe like to clash -Germany & Great Britain. Just think about it, if my memory serves me well and it has never done it before,  I'm going to take a stab at it and just off the top of my head I am going to guess that you heard about the greatest generation and their love affair with the "beetles." Yes! It's the three B's skipping across the troubled waters of the 20th century. OK. France did have the two B's with the exquisite "BB" herself, Brigit Bardot. As for myself, I was into "MM" in "some like it hot." You know! Just think about it, a 12 year old boy wants the air grate from the train station tunnel to win over "MM's" efforts to keep her dress from rising up so as to expose her cute little undies; it does not get any hotter for a 12 year old in those good old days of my youth.

the pirate! & the D.A.!

I want to tell you about two guys in prison who gave me refuge without realizing it; regardless they did me a big "favor" when there were no "favors" to be had. Yet, because of them, I could have a comfortable place to pick up my copy of the "Wall Street Journal." I needed the journal like a junkie needed his fix. It was my escape back in time so that I would have a place to engage my brain separate from the prison's ground, a place in the imaginary "icicle garden." The thing I remember about these two guys was that their cell was not filled with hate. Because many to almost all of the inmates are full of "hate" so over time their cells are downright paralyzing for the occupants; you could feel it when they invite you into their cell for a "sit down." I felt it when the system would run different inmates through my cell on a weekly basis just to fuck with me; some of those inmates were so fucking heavy with bad trauma. It is one of the reasons that I had a "mental" shift in my brain's protective zone, defensive mechanism. For me prison was a living hell. Anyway back to these two guys in prison; one was a "pirate" - drug dealer.  The other guy, well he was a defrocked  "DA" from Charleston, SC. But he did not stop me from coming into his cell each night to pick up my paper. I could sit in their cell; it almost felt centering. They were not the typical cell mates in a maximum security prison like Lieber prison in Ridgeville, SC. The "Wall Street Journal" belonged to the "pirate" in the cell; he got it to follow his stock portfolio on a daily basis. Both of these guys will be able to start over when they get released. I know that the "pirate" will be living down in the Keys of Florida. He told me that he could just lay back in his bunk and close his eyes and his lady friend would always be there waiting for him. She would be naked and tempting him to surrender his seed to her. He said that he had movies of her stored in his brain and he could pull them out at will. Lucky dude. I'm happy for the "pirate." Now, for the "DA", he was more of a stand off kind of guy, but I can tell you a story about what I heard in the breakfast line up one morning. I just picked up my plate and bowl of cereal, sitting down next to these two guys talking about the "DA" coming on to the yard and how they are going to kill him; nothing happened, but they were talking about it. Anyway, I do not believe that the DA really wanted anything to do with a "child molester" in prison. Yes! The fucking pricks of SC put me in prison as a "child molester" just so that the inmates would know that if they had to rape anyone, rape me. Just like it is on the outs side, sex offenders registry for the bulls' eye again.

Saturday, August 9, 2014


"Closet" is where you keep stuff that needs a place to hide; you do not belong in the "closet" & neither do I. But here I am in the "closet" of shame because the state of SC is shameful in the way its administers its laws. The law is subjugated to the "elite's" wishes as was in my case, but they will also eat themselves up -other elites- just as well as dine on any carcass that suits their standing within their hierarchy. I hope for your sake that you are well established in some family structure or social structure that has roots in the political morass of your community. Otherwise, you could be on your way to becoming a "felon" if you live in my state, SC. - the state that claims the "holy city" as their own, Charleston. The only problem is that it is not a "shining city" on the hill, but a pirate's port along the east coast of the U.S. which has traded in "slavery" in one form or another from its beginnings only today the slave trading is done through the justice system couched in an environment of Southern Aristocracy.  I believe that they get away with it because they are non-believers. Yes! They pretend to be civilized when they let you out of the "closet" that you are occupying. It could be that, just like the "felon" is locked up for 23 hours a day, you too are locked up in some closet in your mind's eye, there shaking in your skin over how you are going to make it from pay check to pay check when you do not see any relief on any of the horizons in your future. So, yes, you fall into lockstep with the rest of the community as the "elites" of your society dine on their privileged "opportunities." For example, the masses of today have a greater chance of returning into poverty than their previous generation, their parents generation. Income for the masses has gone down while the income of the "elites" has gone up at a greater rate than any other time in history. You are taking it up the ass just like the 'felon" in prison, only the "felon" is struggling as you seem to be spreading your cheeks for a deeper penetration. Come follow me to the "titty bar along the sea" where you can dream for a better day tomorrow. OK! "May Yesterday's Dream be Tomorrow's memory;" another way to put it is to have a good day today.  It is your day to dream.