Saturday, September 20, 2014

Maintaining:)~(i)

It is all about the small " i," the insignificant "eye." This is when someone is in a situation & their sense of social intercourse is off on their level of engagement. This could be considered, like the "Peter Principle," a moment when one's lever of "compliance" has been breached because the "i" is slipping in the quicksands that form around the "shifting sands" sponsored by life's fiascoes.Yes! the small "i" doesn't manage, resolve or contain; it traverses the fiasco like the skier traverses the moguls coming down the slope of life, some days there is "powder," other days there is "ice." For example, someone could go out into the desert, find a large sand dune and ski off and never even get wet. For example, there is a character called "Don De Marco" talking to his doctor about being "Don Juan" from century's past, lady killer -Dream Merchant. All the "ladies" were loving him because they subscribed to his "dream." This is the small "i" living it out on a different stage. I say this because I had the same relationship with my doctor; but there were differences. My doctor could not believe that I was so stupid or so unlucky while I was reflecting about my "fiascoes" that he chose to conclude that I was delusional as "Don De Marco" when he believed that he was the "legendary lover." We had great sessions but he really believed that my "stories" where just that "stories " when, in fact, they were honest attempts toward recovery. Now it is true that I was seeing him because I was "court ordered." The S.C. court said that I needed five years of intensive indoctrination because I refused to recognize my behavior, guilt. Now for the rest of the "story": It was a "kangaroo court"  during the storm "Hugo" which slammed S.C. What I was accused of never happened; so how could I find it in my reflections? Therefore there is no "Redemption." The problem is that my doctor thought that the court testimony was truthful which it was not. His assignment was based on the "truth" of false testimony. e-mail balanceincr@me.com