Thursday, May 1, 2014

The Deal: 3right

"Thanking you in advance:" this was how I ended the letters going out of cell block 3right -to prison officials. Somehow, I became the "Rev" to the blacks in 3right. I was never one of them in any sense of the word. They know that all reverends are sinners anyway; and they will help them write their letters. This form of living with the mix of black and white, some drunk, some in wheelchairs, etc. in the dungeons of Horry County, SC was like Dante's Inferno all taking place in a condemned building where the state kept its condemned minorities. It was played out in a white trash trailer park kind of way. The male sense of hegemony gets wound up in a more frantic state causing disturbances among the members of the torture chamber -3right. The local ministers would come into the dungeons and call out my name. "Tom, come on out and witness your sins so that they can heal those who may chose your Devil ways." I'm telling you all that it is fucking rape of the highest order to ask an innocent man to be a false witness to the guilt of the allegation. And one of them ended up on my jury, SC politics. In SC you are guilty until proven innocent because the courts want you to negotiate, plea bargain. You have all of the pieces of the puzzle in front of you; that is the go.This deal gets its legs off of the go, out of the chute.  The chute is a balancing act between the Actors involved. How well do they communicate with one and other; are their goals oriented in favor of success or is there an outlier amongst the Actors in the group? This is my situation: I'm in Brain Core theory; I made this deal with myself. A deal is a deal even with yourself. In my case I was always the outlier when dealing with others. My life was a Faustian deal with myself, stacking deal upon deal in the derivative fashion. How do you come to grips with the Devil if you were masking around as Faust, being his avatar?