"...the rest of the story."

 So, I'm in the 'joint' one day preparing to get out when one of the inmates walked up to me and said that there was a friend of his, from the outside, who wanted to get in touch with me.I was thinking I really do not know what this is all about; but what ever it is, I do not want any part of this. Needless to say, I chose to meet with the guy. He was a scribe for the shiners, a social calling. I spoke with Mr. C., the school principal, about it; he  too was on the negative side of meeting. This guy Timmy was interviewing the inmates that he visited because he was on a mission to find and help out an innocent inmate upon the inmate's release. He had been doing it for quite some time. But the system did not trust him. Meaning, they did not understand this journey that he was on, trying to find a innocent man. He felt that it was his Christian duty to do penance and be apart of the solution. What can I say? The reason he came to that conclusion was a surprise to me. The inmates come from the community at large. They all gossip. They also run the prisoners. Meaning, there is an inmate hierarchy; it runs the "icicle garden."The system is into disciplining the inmates; it does not care if the inmates dine on each other. You can take that which ever way that want -up the ass if it suits you. You see, I was a Cookie Crumb, one of Mr. C.'s inmate workers. I could go anywhere in the prison; so, as far as the inmates were concerned; I had a position -that Southern thing again. They wanted to control me so that I would be a courier for their drugs. Now to me, it was to much of a slippery slope. So, I got into a fight with the warden, and in front of his guards, I through down the gantlet. Well this spread through out the prison. As in the best of all worlds, my reputation was indelibly etched in every ones mind, that mother fucker is Crazy. But, in reality, it the warden who won the toss of the gantlet. He just gave me this fucking look and told me to "get along little doggie,"my ad lib. He knew that I was a Cookie Crumb; he respected Mr. C. What else can I say about the warden's actions at that moment. But, at this moment, I'm not going to get into the story behind my actions. For, you see, this is about Timmy and not me. One of the stories floating around Orangeburg was coming out of the malls. Some guy was boasting about the fact that it was he who had what some call date -raped with her; she saw nailing me for it, another Urban legend out of the Orangeburg mall. Timmy also heard from the inmate rummer mill that I was down for political reasons.The elites of SC putting me down because of my actions in Myrtle Beach, SC. For example, the reason that I was denied even a pardon, never mind the turning over my conviction, was all political. Timmy was convinced,  and  I got the vacation on Folly Beach, SC, when I got out. I also got my first and only job since my release from the "icicle garden." Until next time, e-me if you wish 'the rest of the story."  

"a horse with no name"... America

 When I got out of the "icicle garden," I went back to school. I got out in 1993, with a five year obligation as my debt with society. So when this story took place, I was studying psychology because I was under constant stress. Plus, I had lost control of my environment. So major fear factors. Anyway, I learned that women can discern the droppings of different mice just like the mouse can and know that it is safe to copulate with you, as in another mouse, not you in general. In nature it is important to spread your genes out and away from your small family of origin.  We had an experiment in class. The women could discern the strength of a male's fertility through his sweat. They did this by smelling the t-shirts worn by their male classmates. I was part of the test, enough said.  Also, in today's paper of the NY Times, science section, the mouse can discern the difference between a man an a women. Plus, all lab mice fear the male  and all lab mice find comfort with the female. I also learned that all a peptide needs for sequencing the gene is a starting point. So, here we go. When I was young I was the dominant Y to my X. Now my Y is weak and my X is resilient because I am old, not young. You should know that intellect, brain muscle, is not in the Y's tool box. Can I get in touch with this X, I do not know; but I am trying too. Can I take my brain's X and inculcate it into my Y's body? It seams to me that it would be fun to be able to think like a woman, not be one. So when I'm in Brain Core therapy, I create a star-gate hoping that I can pass my X through it. Psychic dreaming is knowing that you are in a dream state, therefore picking up on your vicarious experiences. It could be for me at this point of time all about the brain's mind. This is in the X's tool box. This is my X. Side bar: The brain's potential is infinite because its controls are honed through its procreation. The egg passes from mother to daughter; intellect is passed on through the Xist formation. Therefore, it now seems to me that if a woman can discern a mouse; and, a mouse can discern her, than I'm going to find my long lost cousin, sister X. Oh, yes! My X is a 1976 model because I was hypnotized in 76 to stop smoking. Whatever the doctor did I can trust. It was an instant star -gate forming. I never smoked a single cigarette from that moment on. I can trust that, just maybe, I could get back to the very moment that I formed that memory. If so, she (the X) will be able to visit with me, enjoying her renaissance. What I mean by all of this is this: When I'm in Brain Core therapy, I use self hypnosis trying to take me back through time, time travel. Searching, seeking, questing access to consciousness in its formation, real time. I'm also trying to replicate my skin cell in that body's time,1976. I want that moment in time to boost the cell's energy, return elasticity to the skin, anyway.

F-ile U-nder C-arnal K-nowledge: FUCK file. Mr. F

 This is true: Welcome to my world. When you are placed on the registry for sex offenders, the one thing that you can depend on is that you are fucked for life. So why did Judge F. surrender to political pressure and give it to me up the ass. Yes, there never was any evidence presented to the court to substantiate the verdict of guilty. But, Judge F. allowed his true nature to rise to the surface just like the corruption which must have been present when he was given the opening to assure the community that the south was changing- "the times they are changing." That is so fucking not true. Judge F. is just another one of our species who cares more about fitting in with the power brokers of the racial community's divided sense of duty. It is a zero sum game; all are subject to the whims of prejudice; it is their Christian duty. Judge F. is not neutral when sitting on the bench. That is if you think that a judge's duty is to find a fair balance between advisories. Punish the guilty, yet let the parties find a pathway back into the community of diversity. No, Judges like this one will always lean in the direction of prejudice when they feel their might be a cost of siding on the side of justice, the under dog. No matter where you are in this world, it will always help to remember, follow the money. Yes, as they say in the world of boxing, I believed F. took a dive right along with his friend and my attorney, B. L.  B.L. told me himself that the enemies that I created in SC were to entrenched to overcome. The public defender's office told me that the prosecutor wanted me to accept a plea deal for 30 years to life. The rogue bitch was out to make a name for herself; she too was sleeping with the enemies of justice. He, B.L.,  also said to the court under cross examination during my appeal that I never told him that I confessed to the crime of rape. So, I ask Judge F., how did this happen? Why was an innocent member of society repeatedly raped by the good citizens of the state of SC. Now please do not tell me that I was dreaming when I felt that dick plundering my asshole Judge F.

The icicle garden. Redux

Nepotism like the Rose comes as a three legged stool, "a rose is a rose is a rose." There is nothing more beautiful than a Rose so being in the family is essential. There are differences and there are dependencies and therein lies the balancing act between the two or three. But in the icicle garden there is no freedom unless there is death. What is life without freedom? It is death. If you can not dream a dream where is the rehabilitation, where is the justice? Is it with you trying to stake out your space even though you do not have any ties to the system of justice, family ties. You want to be the individual without any history; your family of influence does not have any skin in the game only prejudice. Why is this? Maybe it has to do with your need to be so special. Like that is all your grandmother said to you as you were growing up, "Little one, you are oh so special." So, unless you are the bull of contention, I suggest that you become a member of the herd and head off to the slaughter house. There you can become the thorn on the rose bush or a piece of gristle in the sausage. Fuck, second thought, you could join the band wagon -the fucking crowd that wants to condemn others so that you too can become what your grandmother promised you would be, special. What the fuck do I mean? It is quite simple, Richard Valenti is going up for parole for the 18th time; this is in SC. He has been in prison since 1971. No argument from me- he murdered several girls because he believed at that time that he was talking to God and the girls needed to die, maybe for the way they were acting. I do not know. But I do know that the family does not have the right to sway his opportunity. Where is the law, where are his constitutional rights? The fucking problem with the parole board is that they are political; therefore, they are corruptible. Now, maybe if you are the "Grandfather of Soul" and you give out your autograph, the Parole Board will let you go -slip sliding- on by. Hwy, Gramps  don't forget to drop off those tickets for your next consort at the door on your way out; by the way the pardon is in the mail. Please, I'm not knocking the Grandfather of Soul. I'm knocking the system and the Parole Board for their lies. For them, it is not about justice; it's about their distorted sense of Christianity. It's a measure of redemption, fuck can you imagine if Pope Francis were in town. Maybe the competition would drive the parole board to at least wash his feet. Fucking A! Just schagging on down the boardwalk. Folly Beach, SC    

a patron's choice.

Give me a break, will you please. Now please, I do not mean a physical break like breaking my knee caps if I miss paying you my debt. You know, I didn't realize that it was you whom I was doing business with the blood sucker out of life's shadow. I thought I was doing business with the avatar you put out in the community to whitewash your image. Had I known that it was you and your social set of elitist sucking off of that witch's tit on the corner, I would have rendered myself a slave as is a custom in some of the tribes in the primal belief system from Africa's past. This is not one of those moments form the movies when the don said, "Hold your friends close but your enemies closer." Personally I do not want to eat with you, nor do I want you to eat me. So, as a Slave from the Southern model, pre-reconstruction, please consider me as an asset and tend to my needs. Life is about truth; life is not about what you think, life is about what life is, the meaning of is as Clinton meant. It is all about the role, it is your image. Anyway, the audience has its own obligation to suspend its disbelief. This is all about role -playing. As a patron, I can get more for my dollar if I place myself upon the stage, like a fly on the wall. The Renaissance of the role depends upon how well you shed your skin, imagine  a snake shedding its skin. Your performance is an out of body experience; this is not about your body; it's about your mind. The key to the role is that others know that it is how you measure your value.
 

Compare/Contrast: Marriage or divorce?

If you would imagine a window that is divided up into four equal sections. The top part is north; the bottom part is south; the right side is east; the left side is west - this I'm calling a paradigm: "the window pain theory."Just a tool, a way to observe a situation. Let us look at the two-state solution between the north and the south after the civil war; its cauldron of reconstruction politics. We can see many scenarios in hindsight, granting our wisdom with 20/20 vision. And for sure, it is still a work in process. OK, that took care of the top and bottom of the window. Now the east with its WASP sense of balance which no one other than a WASP can discern - projecting its baggage of Victorian morality inculcated while coming over on the Mayflower, buffering the protestant reformation. Juxtapose that to the west and its liberal undercurrent of "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"; there is no need for a confession. But still the WASP will visit his friends from out west and taste their sins, then run home and witness to the congregation that the Devil is alive an well out west, just proselytizing their souls. Now let us think about the probability of the Jewish dilemma being successful on its maiden voyage. Let us Mayflower it. What is the Jewish dilemma? It is the question of the two-state solution, Israel & Palestine.  Now hit on this metaphor if you will. Israel is resting at the train station waiting for God to get off, and by the way, the Jews have never left the station because God has not gotten off the train yet because the train has not arrived. Juxtapose this to Palestine; think tourism. Because the Palestinians believe that God got off of the train at their train station and God is not getting back on the train heading to the other side. So, let us go back to "the window pane theory"; using the US experience, its parable to process the dilemma. The Jewish dilemma sits right in the middle of the window where the four pains meet. Which one of the two choices will unfurl without a snag? Will you choose the north/south scenario, racial integration and its success as your model? Or will you choose the east/west scenario of combating sin? I personally believe that it is impossible to believe that probability could ever be on the side of a two-state solution. But the Middle East as a functioning whole could be the one state with a compass that can discern the sifting sands of history; creating its altered sense of secularization might have a chance if and only if God get back on the train heading for a much needed rest, like visiting with Napoleon on Crete. He did have the good luck of acquiring the Rosetta stone, the compass of his time.                 

It's a game.

Can you imagine what it would be like if you had to live your life as if your neighbor had sway over your actions, to the extent that your pleasure depends upon how comfortable your neighbor is with how well you respect their wishes over yours? The herd is forming so get along little doggie. There is one small point that every one seems to have forgotten, Al Gore did develop the internet for commercial use because before it was called the internet. It was called N.S.A. It is an arm of the military. V.P. Gore was releasing this tool of the industrial military complex of data mining over to private industry. This is the way of the system, get the government to develop and harness these capital pathways.  Now, just like Humpty-Dumpty falling off of the wall you are not going to get your civil rights put back together again. You had civil rights, or you believed that you had civil rights until you found out that they never existed accept in your inadequate memory, education. Please name me any organization out there in these days of the quagmire that do not readily subjugate your needs to the needs of its process. Individuals in today's social fabric is frayed and is being cheapened each day as their quality of live fades along with the gloss of their clothing, all of which is being manufactured from afar to justify some fucking twisted need to sway and control more of the world's resources. The corporation as an individual is only in the mind of someone who wants to control you through their financial wealth. The U.S. supreme court just gave private industry another step up in their control over you when they gave political forces the power to consume any of the effect that the individual "should" have over the election process. The individual is loosing in all of the areas that their parents had sway. Why? Well because it just might be that you do not count because you have not participated in the system's life; those who were in the war could not be set aside like the undisciplined children which they spawned. Their children just want a good tanning process; you know those tan lines you see when you get down and dirty while getting naked.