Identity ???

What's your position on another person's identity? Now! Please, if you will, walk around as if this new you -new skin - is being adapted by someone whom you really wish to be happy, like someone whom you love. Did you allow for any individual expression to form from within this identity, or is this new identity of yours for others a bit fucked up as the identity that you carry around for yourself? Please! Are you comfortable with your own opportunities for self actualization, or do you wish to slip into this new identity that you are offering up for others? Think about the new projections that might form from this new identity. What I mean to say is: are you really ready to have yourself cloned? You know! Every where you go, you find yourself; all of the baggage that you have been repressing -for who knows why- is in your face hoping that you will recognize this truth about your latent sexual identity because everything in life is sexual. If it is not sexual, it is not life. It is not that every thing you do is sexual, it is a simple matter of social intercourse. For example, you always wanted to be a dancer but your family thought that being a dancer might be misunderstood by others so they made you become a "jock" who is expected to run steady on into the status quo? What kind of an identity will it manifest? When your mind says I'm into allowing for differences, the "jock" says, them against me, zero sum. Side Bar: OK! The question is -how will the Identity identify with others?  You have a unique opportunity to express fairness amongst others as you form this new Identity's pathway. How would you interpret the actions of others without discerning first what you do not know, for otherwise you would not have judged. How do you set this mindset into this new Identity that you have the privilege to form?
 

Sailing seagulls

Seagulls! I am going to the Caribbean on a sailing vacation, in and out of the local haunts to treat my senses to another pathway, the way of the Islands. I'm getting the fuck out of town, if you know what I mean. Charleston is now inundated with outsiders playing about as if they were in La La Land. They are the short -timers. To them, Charleston is their stage of opportunity; they are into their own pleasure; that's why the short -timers are there; it is "the place" because it makes a great stage to play on. I'm wishing them all the best. But for me, I'm getting out of town. I'm going to have a "light libation" for the next 21 days. I'm so thrilled to be able to free myself; I never imbibe in the USA. I have to leave the country; than it is OK to trickle, twirl, and swirl the pleasures of imbibing the spirits that be. I will free my self from old assumptions; I'm stepping onto the Island's stage performing in my own metamorphosis. It's my attitude and my scenes that will touch, taste, and toy with the Island's spirits. However they come at me, I will welcome them with open arms. This is the time to discern previously unseen patterns allowing one's imagination unfettered exploration. "You cannot get there from here." Updike understood the haunting sound of the Island's spirit. You cannot ever get anywhere from here because you have to go to some other place first to get directions and than maybe you too will get lost on your way to getting there. Now! There is always a prelude to the opening act on opening night- my luggage, not my emotional baggage. It can only be 62 linear inches and not more than 40 pounds. Plus! My backpack is considered as part of my total luggage limitations; beyond this, there is an extra charge. I want to sail with the Seagull; they -the air lines- want to nickel and dime me after they promised me that there way was my way; but, I think what they meant was that I want it their way but of course I could always drive; there is the highway. I heard it before:  "It's my way or the highway" which will it be?       

Centipede

If you decided to follow a single path, you too become the Centipede. It is only when you choose your own direction that you fuck up the Centipede. Yes! Stop and be in your moment's time and space. These are your eyes to observe the truth; this is your validation, your observation of the differences between your observation and your action. Therefore you cannot walk lock step with others under the dilettantes cape. For if you do, you miss out on your own formation, self actualization. So if this Dilettante's dogma is couched in history, and always has been, and not questioned, then the Centipede is driving the car and you are -as in Googles's world- a passenger. You get to see what the Centipede observes as the Centipede crawls along its historical pathway. For example, when I reflect upon myself, I find that when I was young, I was stupid. Now that I'm old; I am just forgetful; this is an easier position to occupy in society. Why! Well if you did not follow the Centipede, then you have many failures to express to others as a wonderful learning experience. Because of your failures, you have reflective memories to share with others. You become the Delphi when you have a story to tell; this vicarious relationship between peoples of various perspectives brings unique taste buds to the table. Think! How tasty will your life be if you become one of the legs of the Centipede? What will your legacy be? Yes! You could be the best leg the Centipede ever had, but you would have to be in lockstep with the rest of the legs, no individual you. You would have to be the shining star without wonder of who you could be. You could never throw off the yoke of History because you would not have any of your own history to reflect upon and use as a foundation to propel your self forward. Maybe you will fall into the very fire of damnation that the Dilettante preached to you about. All I can add to the mix is that if you are the leg than you can never be the pathway for others.      

the lie!

Yes indeed, it did happen to me too. Craig's List sent me a false positive: its name was "just-me." Liar Liar, your soul is on fire. You crushed my lust just like the mean old men in prison crushed my sense of what is natural when it comes to jail house sexuality. Yes! You care only for self gratification. I come to you looking to find out what could be; you abuse my spirit with your lackadaisical sleaze. Your approach to my comfort lacks the wisdom of yesterday's discernment. My parish priest was right on about the devil's true intentions. Shakespeare once said, "to be or not to be, that is the question." What is to "be" is me; for, I am on the "list."  Now I say to you, Craig's List, you are unfaithful, undeserving of my folly into the realm of the internet. You crushed my lust for the secret of Pandora's box. Granted, I will admit that I'm looking for "kink" in all the wrong places. Just like when I was a young man growing up in Boston, Ma; believe it our not, I use to go into the "titty bars" to shoot pool and be entertained by the exotic dancers. And -you know- my parish priest would tell me in the confessional booth that those "titty bars" are the places where the devil hangs out. Now I really know where the devil is handing about. That is right, the devil is lurking under false pretenses as -casual encounters- in the personals on Craig's list. This is where the old men and some young women go to tantalize each other. Yes, I remember going to the movies when I was a young man. One movie in particular, "The Music Man" reaffirmed what my parish priest said about pool halls. Yes! I'm saying that the "casuals encounters" section of Craigs list is as devious as the pool halls of yesterday. The "lie" is in; the fix is just like shooting up the juice of your own imagination. Because you can not think that women from the "titty bar" generation are any thing like the woman which you bring before the parish priest on your wedding day. The same goes for the impersonators from "casual encounters."

Setting the stage

The four corners of law: church, federal, state and judicial play out on the corners of Broad st. and Meeting st. in downtown Charleston, SC. This is not ethical in any sense of the word; it is also true, it does not profess to be ethical. It is a function of Government to sway its constituents in more or less manner as a reward for conforming to the status quo. These are symbols to Power's ethos.  Because it is the thriving to attain power that perpetuates the thriving for it. The constituents, on the other hand, couch this process as if common knowledge could keep it in check. Now!  What the fuck could be so common as common knowledge when they have all the resources, and, you have none of them. The world as seen through the eye's of the elite is zero sum, or -more or less. They have more;  you have less. If you were their equal, you would have to be one of them; otherwise, you are not one of them -so please get back in line. It is said in casting, if the scene is set to a rainy day, the extra is out in the rain for the entire time it takes to shoot the seen. The little people -on the set- are said to be crouch sniffers; you might mill that over in your mind's eye. Napoleon would have been a monster of a little person. Yes you would be having a Napoleonic complex from the mind of a little person -a crouch snifter. Fucking A! This is what I think is so funny: when I was growing up, life was bifurcated between man and woman. It was supposed to be equal but woman are a lot smarter than man; anyway, the four "corners" of law have set new positions for equal distribution. For example, homosexual male, lesbian woman, male cross dresser, male transgender, bisexual male, bisexual female, as well as a woman wanting to be a male; but, I can not possibly fathom why she would. So, if the "corners" could not find a common denominator between "one plus one," one man, one woman. Now, the corner's have seven new ways to sway their constituents. I believe that it will be impossible to reconstruct the herd as was in the day's of Spinoza. He said it than; it's true today. He does not care if you reverse his excommunication because he was right and you still are wrong. Ho! How Amsterdam has grown. Yet, not Charleston, the Holy City on the hill.   

Let us go, the reformation failed.

 The evidence is in; the conclusion is quite simple. Give the religious and political elites the pleasure of incarceration so that they can molest each other in ways that help them feel that the crucifixion of Jesus was real and had a healing affect on their psyche. What am I talking about? How the fuck do I know what I'm talking about? But if you follow world events, like the Middle East , you will find the Pope in Palestine whipping up on the Jews because they allowed Jesus to be nailed to the cross. So the Pope is out and about stirring up shit so that the Jews can be crucified by the political oneupmanship that is on the horizon. Plus, the Jews are flanked by the shifting sands coming out of Egypt couched in the demented rise of their new hegemonic leader, Sisi. Does the name ring a bell -"ask not for whom the bell tolled, it tolls for thee."  On the other side of Israel you find Lebanon with their three crosses of symbolism all empty because they are not hanging anyone at the moment. For you see, the three legged stool of power: one Christian president, one Sunni Prime minister, one Shiite as the speaker of Parliament are all ladies in waiting. Waiting for what -who the fuck knows- maybe any influential outsider who wants to play the "lone ranger" riding in with his silver bullet of truth and a pocket full of obligations dangling from 30 pieces of silver. But, the real jolt is coming like it has always come in the past in the form of the Russian question. For you see, in the past the, the West has always held sway because of its economic hegemony; this is no longer assured because of China's ascension on the economic stage, neutering the status quo. Just check it out, the west is trying to put Putin in check with economic sanctions. So his shift is to rook his own king, shifting to China as a defense using his gas as a short across the West's bow. Also, there are two outliers, Iran is goosing Israel with its nuke program as N. Korea snuggles up to China with theirs. Talk about the big bang theory -will you, ha.      

The "thing" to do!

If you want people to like you, I suggest that you do the opposite of me; do it differently; it does not make any difference, just do it your way; you will do it well. It is its "it" anyway, don't you agree? As for me, I'm always in a relaxed state as far as social intercourse is in play. You on the other hand are the 'gadfly' neck deep in surviving so that when you want to relax, you want to empty your mind. You are not polemic on social justice and its discourse. You are divorced from reality for the moment because you do not want to be reminded about what tomorrow could bring. You are running away from whatever it is out there that seems to always rear its ugly head when you least need its reminder. You want to get down, be just fittin' in with your own disillusion, its truth, "if you build it they will come." You scream! " Let us all be happy the way that I want to be happy; what do you say"?  Fucking crazy! But for me you see, I will walk into the group; it's called -spring fling- as if they were the audience. The question is -will they suspend their disbelief as is the custom in the theater's audience? And! If they do not, then I will have to interact as is their custom. This is the issue -my issue: I have no fucking idea about what their "custom" is, you see. I think it might have something to do with common knowledge. But I'm as eccentric as your imaginary quest for knowledge could be when you are in -time out. Therefore, " to 'stay' or not to 'stay,' this is the question." I have my own man cave; I'm comfortable. Still! Should I just man up and go down to "spring fling" and be one of the group because -as you know- "acceptance" is the thing to do. You know! This reminds me of the argument between "could or should" that I used to have with a real polemic on women's issues.

Does "it" matter?

So yes, I'm sending out another S.O.S because I am very angry about the casual way in which others just seem to get along in life without ever taking a moment to wonder if the generalized other is getting a fair shot at happiness. So! Now for the truth, who gives a flying fuck if the next guy gets his or her shot at happiness as long as you get yours. It does seem to me that the talking heads, like you can catch any week day on Morning Joe, will selectively remember how their political opposition had fired the first salvo; therefore, their mud slinging is justified to reinforce their "status quo," whatever that means or so entails. Fuck! I'm drowning in this pissing contest that seems to have no end in sight. What gets to me is this idea of a social contract -which by the way, I never signed and if I did please forgive me because I did not understand that it was up for revision every time some "shit head" senses that their sense of sensibility is under attack. Why does it matter if I wipe my ass with my left hand and you, for what ever reason, choose to wipe your ass with your right hand. Now, I do know because I'm a well traveled fool that there are some cultures that frequently dine in a communal manner and forage from the same bowl; so they all wipe with their left hand and dine with their right hand, but does that mean that others have to follow suit and think right brain versus left brain because they come from the culture which does or does not forage from the communal feeding bowl? I think not because when I'm in the bowels of my own mind I'm quite ambidextrous; yes, I do believe that I can sling the "shit" just as well as the talking heads can. My only problem is that no one will give me any credit for my efforts unless they are in agreement with my conclusions or end up in my world of "dreams do come true if you are a switch hitter."
 

"Freddy the -Freeloader"

When I was growing up there was a TV character by the name of "Freddy the freeloader" played by Red Skelton. This was a "skit" from his Sunday TV show. Freddy was a hobo living alongside the rail road tracks. He had some unusual shows but there was always some king of moral compass toward fair play: that was the silver lining. Freddie got into trouble because he was always living on the edge. Freddy was a child of the Great Depression. He could have been a character in one of Steinback's unfurling like the "Grapes of Wrath," or for sure, Rabbit out of "Rabbit Run" would have been a fan of "Freddy's" too. But Freddy would not be treated the way that the system treats felons as they try to reenter society; they are never free from Reformation's sin. The church needs its demerits to keep the faithful alert to temptation as Satin is always out and about offering the children his pleasures. You are always one of the children because it is you that they harvest their tithe from, your pledge for doing business in the community. Your church is special to you. Right! It is like them against you on who owns God. You do, of course, because you believe the dogma about the way felons are to be shunned. The only dogma that you recognize for the poor is proselytizing about them before you allow them to rise up out of poverty. I think that you want the assurance that their 10th goes to your church. Not to some other "come along" who offers flashes of glitter to entice a more universal way of sharing one's spirit. I believe that "Freddy"would be rooting for the home team; for it's the world's Olympics that he is rooting in; Freddy would be rooting for humanity to survive here on earth and not in the stratosphere of la la land, the church.

"Class -less", that's me.

Substantive ideas: ideas whose time could be about not having working class or middle class in them. Yes! The elites of the times are pyramid builders which need the 99% to support their sense of accomplishment. What do I mean? I mean that you are the "dung" from which the elite Southerners sprout their air of superiority. How about that?  You work in the coal mines; their work is checking on and complaining about the fairways along the golf course as they approach the putting green. Remember now to be quiet as they concentrate on their putt; it is the most important and substantive issue on their agenda. You! Well your job is to "load another ton of number nine coal and to go deeper in debt to the company's store."Right! You see the idea is to try and be one of them so that you too can spend your day on the golf course praising God for your ascent into their realm, meaning you are no longer one of those who have to go into the "coal mines" of life. That is right. You are no longer one of the oppressed. Congratulations, you are now officially one of those who oppress and enslave others to do your bidding. This you do to assure yourself a place at the right hand of God, even if you are left handed. Fear not, it is not your virgin daughter being sacrificed to the God of superstition; she is not fucking tossed under the bus; or as in the past, dropped off of the mountain top into the volcano to appease the sexual lust of the ruling deity which you know that you want to be. Right! No! You say no not me. Then you run for some community position so that you can boast of being the little Fascist kid in the neighborhood who wanted to score with those of in-crowd. Congratulations, you too will get the "Sieg Heil" and maybe open up a camp or two, too.   

Solipsistic

I have come to the conclusion that I am different things as I entertain our differences. I love it because their are more pieces to the puzzle. My pieces, your pieces make up the possibilities of the moment. What is our object other than to "suspend disbelief" as they say in the Theater.  Well how do you do this when the fantasy held begins to crumble and morph itself into a viable moment? Mental gender bending is best kept in the abstract, not acted upon. For example, when I was in the "icicle garden" I saw males acting as females and holding other males in sway. In therapy I choose to wander down this path because my therapist wanted me to explore those possibilities. She believed that my headaches stem from sexual trauma while in prison. So when you are playing out your fantasy on Craigslist as a form of therapy, you can be anyone you wish to be; you can be a gender bender or a cross dresser as well as a "lesbo." No offense, if I were a girl in real life I do believe that I would or could be a Lesbian. So playing a girly guy who wants to be with the boys and dress like a girl playing "homo." You can sense this can be like the shifting sands of the many deserts you will cross through in therapy. You must speak to all of the suspicions feeling, lurking around in your mind's eye. Naughty! Naughty! Thoughts percolating after you were told not to think about it. You did not know what it was until they said no to it. Now you have to think about it because they mentioned it. Yes! You found it; it does have a special purpose too. Imagination gives you the opportunity to be what you want to be, all in the safety of self. Why should you listen to this fear being preached about the possibilities of "suspending disbelief" and wandering off the reservation with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a "white boy" in the other. Fucking A!  I'm on the war path and I'm taking scalps. 

"Cutie"

I'm not sure that it makes any difference to you or not, but it does with me. Yes! I want to be understood so that I can free myself of this fucking anger. I do not know where you are coming from; as for myself, I believe that the political elites that make up the system are fucking me up the ass just like they did in prison. Someone once said that it is the southern way of doing things. Of course, if it were happening anyplace else the southern rapprochement would be screaming foul for humanitarian reasons. I do believe that it only stinks when someone else is frothing at the bit  about the southern way, doing it to the southerners. I do believe that they call it "Offshore drillin." They smile to your face, give you the poking when you turn around. When I was growing up they called it back stabbin'. So you would think that I'm well scarred to this mischief, but it is relentless. You know- the fucking itch you get when you have a cast on your arm, the one you use to masturbate with and, ever since, masturbation is not the same because it lacks spontaneity. Yes, that is right, that kind of itch. You know this itch thing reminds me about a story that someone once told me. It seemed that when he was young. He was visiting friends of his aunt who by the way was a little "lesbo," he thought. She walked around the house with just a tee-shirt on and no bra underneath. He said it would get him excited; anyway he said that he forgot to pack his underwear when he visited so she made him wear her girly panties instead. He said that she said no one will no unless you tell them, but she laughed at him when she noticed that he was getting an erection as she was showing him how they were to be worn. He said they felt so different from his underwear that he got a fetish over the experience. Now he says that whenever he gets bent out of shape because of something that someone is doing to him he locks himself up in his room and plays pretend: I'm a little girl in my panties; don't you think that I am a cutie?   

Sinatra's "My way"

My world of the off limits is no place to be because you would be off limits too. When you live in my world your best friend is "no" because it is understood that you do not belong. You are no longer a citizen with rights. Matter of fact, you must walk around as Jesus, dragging your cross behind your self, persecution is in. You are condemned to being one of those who are not allowed the opportunities that others just trickle, twirl, and swirl with as they promenade upon their way. When you do it my way, you do without. Yes! The fucking system believes that if it makes a mistake it did it for the greater good of the whole, mankind in its fist as it jacks off. You will get compensated in heaven because you were condemned in the name of God while you were waiting to be called back to be judged -it is judgement day. Fucking A!  The Protestant reformation turned out to be the harbinger of the real "dark ages" and not as history as proclaimed under the catholic church when Rome fell and the renaissance blossomed. Yes! The christian world distorted the Italian city states' sense of worship and their profit -Machiavelli. The thing is, you see, in this time and place the reformation is making a new bread of sinners; they are called felons, not Catholics. Because the new prejudice is now with the Islamists, who along with the minorities, Mexicans and others from south of the boarder, down old Mexico way. The reformation's stench is lending itself to life's effluvium. But! No, I'm not bitter; I'm fucking going crazy. It is not fair because God is fucking dead; if even God did once exist, there is not enough room in hell to accommodate all of those who buttress the reformation and its unfurling of justice. Please! How can it be that there is not enough room in hell for God's wrath against the reformation?   

Give me a fucking break!

I do not want you to misunderstand me: I'm so fucking pissed off at the way the court's work because I do not believe that the court's are in any way just. Now! Why do I feel this way? Because of the court's jury system; it is made up of individuals who -on the whole- are intimidated by the process. It is their chance to be in the power slot; this is unhealthy for anyone who is being judged. I do not believe that the individual is capable of disrobing themselves of the prejudices and acting as an impartial jurist. The brain simply does not work that way; you, as a jurist, are made up of pieces of experiences which you may or may not be aware of. These are moments from your past which you neglected, thoughts that have a life of their own when triggered by emotions that have been buried in your psyche. Yes, you say to yourself that you are impartial, but do you really know this to be true when you do not have the experiences to draw upon? For example, just walk into WalMart on any given day and pick the next 12 members of "Wallie's world" as they walk through the door and tell me that you could trust their judgement on weather you are guilty or not guilty on any thing that is consequential in your life. Right! I hear you loud and clear; you cannot wait to give them the chance to decide if you enter heaven or hell. Fucking A!  This is my bitch. I went up for a pardon on a conviction which was unjust because the crime never happened and the professionals who sit on the pardon board did in fact not read my petition to the Governor. These are the professionals who keep the gate of life from swinging one way or another. And, by the way you could remember that the civil war is in a lull; it is not over in the minds of the descendants who feel that they too have some "shit" to add to the mix; thank you.       

Dissidence

 The wave of history rings out in the meaning of today's time; its past is eternal -with you always.  It is from which you extrapolate the present. The trick is not to hear its cacophony. Keep it ever in mind as you experience the now of place and time. You traverse from stage to stage tasting its offerings as your pleasures mature exponentially through time. The sweet horn of plenty leaving you satiated with its nectar: juice up at the pump, my friend, for life is leaving you behind.  Accept the lies that are out there in time and space being postulated upon by the lobbyist behind the throne of your ideas. It's in the understanding of history that you get wisdom, vicarious relationships breeding thoughts for consideration, thinking: Why the fuck are you holding on to this belief system of yours which is dysfunctional at best or potentially criminal in nature because your history is inadequate for the times. Your problem stems from the fact that you lack experience -specialization that comes through opportunity, frequency. You get up to bat; you foul out because you lack the jargon of accomplishment. Your language lacks the polish of "rhetoric" because it is psychobabble from the "hood."This new world has social norms that are foreign to you. You move from situation to situation on a stage traversing the moguls of complexity. Your comfort goes up and down in a jazzing manner leaving you drained and elated. Side Bar: you learn to appreciate the history of others so that you can allow for your own differences in relationship to the differences being expressed around you. For example, the Jews were in until Pope Gregory set the calendar. Rome fell and out of the ashes rose Islam until the West nested the Protestant reformation and the beat of history goes on.   

Princess Ineffable

She promised me that she would be true; in fact, she was a he/she; she distorted my sense of pleasure. She is the felon's princess ineffable. With that said, the present is made up from its history and therefore the desired reformation has to come from overturning the prejudices that form when understanding the ramifications of our resolve to accommodate the cumulative we. As in "We the people" found in the constitution. If the desired outcome of our social resolve is to teach others about the meaning of social intercourse, than what is needed is to understand that not everyone has had the opportunity and privilege to reflect upon the meaning of life, its responsibilities. Because not every one comes with the same package of common sense. So in this universal "we" the common sense is not common amongst all in the collective whole; for there are many island wholly made up from various segments of society subjugating one group from another depending upon their dependency for access to the desired resources needed to sustain life in a meaningful way. We can all react to the same social trigger but history has taught us that our reactions will differ according to our unique histories. For example, one felon from the political elite will become a reality TV star burning bright even though he/she fosters only the primal need for greed while the remaining 99% of those who leave prison with their felon's stamp are offered the tenured position of grovelling from the barrel's bottom. Now it is also true that each felon dives into Dante's folly from their own platform, each one with their unique characteristic inculcated by their small family, their neighborhood of origin.  Each is a product of their times, the places and faces that made up their mind's eye. You enter Dante's folly  passing through the "icicle garden" where you morph into this distorted sense of reality based upon consuming your soul so that you can survive the ordeal of passing through the icing down of social intercourse as your brain's beta wave burns red. The princess is all about revealing Dante's descent into Hell. 

"frame -up"

Conflict resolution requires that all parties to the conflict have adequately found a resolution to proceed. Now! This is the absolute truth; if you do not have the unbridled opportunity to advance your cause, than you are not logically expected to abide the Government. For example, I'm a political prisoner to Christian shunning. Because it requires Redemption, you must confess to the crime if you want Redemption. I want FUCKING justice; that's all. The criminal justice code has never been about justice. It is about punishment, as much punishment as it can get away with before the non-felons get a whiff of the stink. The people's sense of sensibility is appeased and he beat goes on, the cry of the "icicle garden" where the person's body is the day's tender. This prison population is imploding on all the same variables that maximize the dollar on the entrepreneur's shelf or in his quiver. The value of the felon's body. For example, this is our cell and I believe that their will be sex in the cell and you can decided how you want to participate with me; please remember, I'm into role-play for you. A conversation just like that happen to me. I remember the conversation, not the conflict resolution. Also, I have had several therapist tell me that I'm most likely repressing the memory because I was forced into being sexual with my cell mate. And! I'm not saying that that is not true; I simple do not remember those experiences after having a psychotic break, "crazy" to the lay person. Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, the State is also responsible due to its prison practices. Redemption through the bible is fucking blasphemous to God if there is a God; I'm not saying there is a God either. Plus! Candidly speaking, the federal government runs its Middle Eastern policies as poorly as it does its constitutional responsibilities -just admire how it manifests the 14th amendment to its constitution. How about the felon's right's after conflict resolutions has been administered. In my case, I'm on probation for life for a crime that never happened other than in the mind's eye of my enemies, a political elite with the power to sway. Yes, the simple truth of the "frame up."       

Are you lost or dead?

As far as I'm concerned, I'm in a living nightmare. Fuck! I wish you would get off of my stage. You bring along so much garbage. Because the system wants you to fit a mold that they have filled with religious superstitions. I know that this is my problem and not yours; yet, it affects both of us. You and I need to find a way to clean up this "social garbage" spewing out of us from moment to moment as we pass through out our day. The mind does not always remember what it encoded into its brain over time. This is evidenced on those occasions when you had diarrhea-of-the-mouth. As for my self, I'm as guilty as we all are; my question to my self is: Why? I know that the key to understanding lays in one's ability to listen without prejudice. For example, I had this fight with someone about my willingness to sway the project: The IRS constructed the format for the deal. If you did anything else it would be fraud. I was not going down that pathway because I just took over the hotel when he wanted me to house his guest; it was against the rules to do so; I told him so. I went to prison; he lost out to the IRS because they did not trust him, therefore the IRS foreclosed on the deal. Now if I was willing to bend to his sway I would have been on easy street. But no, I had to be straight because I was afraid to go to prison for committing a financial fraud. Irony! Now! To fill in the pieces. My job was to find a pathway that was acceptable to the IRS, freeing the property's hold; its market potential was 350,000,000 dollars. The IRS and the Real estate Commissioner gave me the OK to teach a course in ethics with Timberon, NM as the stage, a new state law; you had to have a license. When you are dealing within a structure, you no longer have control:  I had a non-denominational tax exempt status; he wanted its hermeneutic to be translated as Mormon. This social garbage lacked ethical validity but it was politically powerful as you can witness; I'm a felon. 

Praxis: to teach is to be

 TheBlackMarket.me is a new pathway of understanding: how to facilitate the situation facing the felon. You have been living in an environment of stunted processing because you are filtering the unknown through a vale of morality which is misunderstood by those who profess it. Morality has nothing to do with truth- in this case our social justice system. You must first understand the ramification of punishment to the brain; fuck this thing called the "soul" by some because it does not live here; it lives on in some other dimension, if it exists at all. To me the key to understanding is realizing that you do not have the answer to the problem; for if you did it would not be a problem. For example, why would you want to preempt any endeavor instead of entering into it with an open mind, free from old assumptions? You are not dealing with an individual's body; you are dealing with the felon's brain. Redemption cannot be the social pathway for the felon to reenter society. Redemption is convoluted with religious superstition. So to filter the problem through religious superstition will only create stumbling blocks; this is why the felon population in the country is one of the fastest growing populations. Yes! This is a fucking moral dilemma created by society's lack of compassion for those who were not given equal opportunities as their brain was forming. This is the problem: it is the "brain." You have to educate the brain; that does not mean Indoctrinate it so that society is the gatekeeper. OK! the basic principle is that there is no other place. Here and now is where it all unfurls. Be all in this world; this time; this place. This is why you need to turn prisons into a praxis of understanding. If you educate the brain, it can maximize its mind's eye. The individual will follow along as the vase of life.  

Are you out there?

Just hook -up, that is what they say. What is a hook -up? That is what I want to understand. Two brains feeding Xist style, commingling their pleasures; experiences they bring into the ring of possibilities; for example, the old man and the young man are sitting under the tree; the old man wants to be a young man so he services the young man's sexual needs so that he can get into the young man's life. Many believe that life is always sexual because all young men have a primal need to scratch their itch: it's the old man with the need to be young that attenuates this itch. The old man, young man scenario, I believe it is gender orientation. For example, you could think about the Rip Van Winkle  effect after awaking from a long drunk journey to that of the submissive female side of man. She emerges as the male slides out of play. Maybe, finally in his demise she rises as sphinx into play. She is in play; she is he/she. And her mantra is "drop up and visit me some time." On the other hand, the female is on a Renaissance, she is in her Xist. So in my case, she is servicing the he/she's behind the wall: in her "Social Justice" tee-shirt -she is forming Balance Inc R as this convergence's forum. Yes, it is all bull -shit! This dance of the money manager; their sense of how they see themselves; they are the matadors taking on the market's bull and harnessing one's return over time. I think they look for the mushroom sprouting form the bull's pile of dung. As we all know, it does make an unusually toxic tea, the bull's mushroom and me. The hook -up's validity is measured in the future as its fruition sprays across the canvases of time. And if you spell the word 'time'  backward, it spells out 'emit' meaning to give off and that is the key to any good hook -up, its dividend. 

balanceincr@me.com "Tee-shirt" ...order.

You are too beautiful to be legal. You are just another one of those ideas floating around in the environment. You know: nothing is new;  It's the spin you put on it. Right! Some say that, if you are tuned with your environment, you will be facilitated along by the effect. The world is on all sides of the divided - you, me and the rest of the family. Plus, Alibaba's followers. Next the I.P.O.  No! this is a legal deal to assure the divided, newly created felon -slave. As in reconstruction, the 5/8's value had to attain the common denominator of equality under the constitution; meaning that a 5/8's slave in now an 8/8's equal and free; this is the 14th amendment to the constitution. So, using that logic, its inverse has to also have the same trajectory. This is a "retro-reflection" back to being less than equal. Well than you have to make allowances for those differences. If the felon can not be treated as an equal. Then the system has to compensate for its affect upon the felon's ability to flourish. For example, I'm a political prisoner and I'm on a lifetime probation against a rogue jury's unsupported verdict of "guilty."There was on evidence; there was only perjury, false testimony. I'm not the only felon being rifted back to a 5/8's; some of these felons are hovering plus or minus 0/8's; all they do is go through the "revolving door" because they lack status. I'm forming this union because I can; it is your choice to join it if you also wish this flight of fantasy for slaying the fucking dragon. Six million members makes a very large harpoon. This is an inclusive union which fosters social justice: since I'm a feminist; I'm saying that all are welcome to join Balance Inc. R. This is our limbo membership -waiting to become a felon. We will be advocating for social justice; you can support our endeavors by ordering one of our future tee-shirts. I'm the case that needs to be brought before the U.S. Supreme Court because it's my14th amendment's right to be adjudicated too. The verdict was corrupted. Can you imagine the defense that I could make against the rogue prosecutors who prostitute justice if all 6,000.000 million felons purchase a future "Social Justice" tee-shirt? 
 

Dawn of Awearness...1983!

 I put a full-page advertisement on the back page of the local Sunday newspaper. I buried in the ad a story that I could unfold to you if you were interested. The important part of this is that you have the ad. We could talk about the hidden 7's, words with seven letters in a word string. You would see the ad in a much different light because you understood something on a different level. Anyway, you were attending Pier14 restaurant where the mental health therapists were running a workshop entitled  "The Dawn of Awareness." The cost was $77.77 and you could reserve your participation via  check. I received over 100 hundred checks for the first show and the numbers were growing when the mental health professional backed out of the deal. Plus, if you wanted to take a private tour of one of the resorts on the beach, you would get your money back for the mental health weekend in Myrtle Beach, SC. The idea behind the idea is that the gift of awareness facilitates the family, its need to stay tuned with a dream, no matter what else goes wrong with the rest of the year. Your time will come; this is what the Dream Merchant was selling, balance. I was interviewed on TV about the upcoming Dawn of Awareness event. There was a good chance that our audience would be around 200 people. $15,554.00 lost energy. But, the idea had its fruition even though the checks were returned. 200 X $77.77 = $15,554. Now, what other treasure did you get? You were there to explore your differences, allowing others to understand you, so, that you can better understand them. You were there with your wife, girlfriend, your soul mate. It was all about setting the stage for your possibilities to flower. Now the irony behind this failure was that I was involved with her, -the mental health therapist; she encouraged my behavior, yet spite's ugly head won the day; I got fucked. Also in the ad I quoted from the History of Humanities advertising. But I switched the word "creativity" with "time share" in the quote. Now, as a gift, I had printed up the original quote on parchment to be given away upon their arrival. I have had this quote on my personal card since that promotion because I think it is right on. Side bar: I think she got so fucking mad at me because I did the TV spot with another woman, a friend the therapist didn't know about. I could be wrong because the main focal point in the ad was our ten commandments on "could" or "should." It could have been the "could" or "should. Simply stated, if you said you "should" to her instead of you "could" do this or that she would go through the fucking lecture on the meaning of words.   

Next time around...me.

 Where is my head at this moment? Well, I'm going to the Caribbean where the mosquito is biting with very unsavory consequences rather like being kicked around town with a target on your back. The morning paper's reminder of society's children: Couple sentenced to prison because they murdered a registered sex offender and his family. Maybe it was because they felt it was fair game to go after the felons who were being shunned by the church's congregation, constituents in the political arena. They said that the only thing that they are ashamed of is that they were so stupid to have been caught on their first hunt. They had their second target in hand - so involved in their lust, his for bringing him down with a bullet. She, like the bull fighter, would take the kill with the skill of the blade.

Plus, and not to look for sympathy, I'm on a diet. Right! I was listening to C-Span's coverage on the judicial system and its management yesterday. I'm sorry to say that they are running on negative beta, as in brain wave. Truth! Which means that you have to process your wave, whatever it is, through a negative system; this can only mean one thing, the felon population will be growing at an exponential rate. What else is on my mind? Each of the top hedge fund managers -on average- took home $1,000,000,000 billion dollars in income this year, exclusive of other revenue streams. This is a new shadow government in its wake of being the power within, for example, the Italian city states like Rome's guiding light -the Catholic Church. The book that everyone hid in the brown paper bag was "The Prince" by Machiavelli. Now, if you take probability into account, you can safely bet on the family producing children who will be earmarked for a career in felonhood. Yes! It is just another form of slavery. I know because I have to register with Interpol; I will be sailing in foreign waters and that means they will have jurisdiction over me. They usually hold me up for hours upon my arrival because they are not sure of what to expect from me, my behavior.  One way or another the system, which is bent on redemption, must have some one to redeem. The wagons are circling around; resources are being divided. But I'm sorry you are not invited to the party because you will get your just reward in the next life; some of you are willing to blow yourself up to mark the four wives for your coming arrival. Fucking A!    

Moving on...:)

You could say that it was just another one of life's moments; you could also say that it put you on the road to destruction. Who gives a flying fuck anyway; you do not. Yes, you say that you do because of some fucking crazy warped out perception of socialization; you know the shit that was interjected into your mind set without you processing its ramification. So now you are between moving on and revenge. Revenge tastes good while moving on leaves bile in your taste buds. No matter where you are the rest of the world is all fucked up. You know this because you too are just hanging on by the tips of your reach, fingers. You feel comfortable about manipulating them because you are daring, foolishly crossing the line of your ability. You can only get close to someone once; than the misunderstanding manifest themselves in ways that make you uncomfortable. Right! You are only comfortable when you are being naughty; this naughty of yours is a little on the schizophrenic side too. Their unique charms fit you like a new suit each time they pop out of your head. Yes, you too want to feel the sweet taste of revenge. The only thing is that you will not take responsibility for its fall out: You create safety zones like ripples from a skimmed stone across the water. Your major problem: you do not have a partner in crime; you have obligations that are too much for you to cope with because you have to conform to a certain moral code which is against "your self best interest." You have your own moral code; Why do you have to act as if you are the judge of others as they interpret the actions of others. You like each to their own way. No! New Rules: The journey to "redemption," a new suit for the US Supreme Court, says that all social meetings within this new beast of ours can choose to start with religious overtones. The road to redemption is couched in "plea bargaining," not in the law. The law requires an adversarial stage to be unfurled over fairness. For example, there is no fairness if it is against to law for you to lie, yet the system is supposed to lie, good cop - bad cop beating up on you because this is what the rogue prosecutor wants their fascist troops to do. This is the behavior of SC's criminal justice; it is Jim Crow dressed up as equal rights, you harvest your population in a bottom up manner; This is the churches' way of social genocide.You must confess to the sin even if it is not your sin, because it is convenient for the church and its interpretation of social intercourse. I predict that just like with the Muslim's belief of bowing down a certain number of times through out the day, you too will be subjugating your privacy to the court and its dance partner, the church. Please remember, the stone makes ripples as it is skimmed across the water ringing out and calling you back to nature; Chim-pan-zee  chimes in your ear.

Setting the record straight

Straight down that old crooked road, I went without any thought of looking back. I took myself for granted; I never realized that I was not supposed to take care of myself. The wisdom floating around in this new way of looking at life is that "it takes a village to raise a child." I never believed anything that you were saying anyway; you were all about you, right. Have you ever felt that way? That the system is out for itself; the rest of us are just more hash to be served up for breakfast. Let me tell you a story about fear. When I was young I had to take a nap, real young. But I did not like the visitor that came during my sleep, before I fell asleep. Uncle Charlie moved into the house to take care of us while my mother was being tortured at the nut house. My father, the shit head, was off to work, as a bus driver. He did have special arrangement with some of this female riders. My father was one of those sleazy males in the neighborhood, who when the guys were off to war; their wives were home alone; times were tough and boundaries were convoluted. Yes, he did have one of those Napoleon complexes too. For example, he was John Wayne and I was the "Jap" in our WWII  foreplay; sometimes I was the Indian to be massacred. Meanwhile, Charlie would just hold me close to his naked body for nap time and rock me to sleep. I did not like his visits; but, he was a good cook; he did clean up the house. I liked that because my mother was a slob; fuck, they used electric shock treatment on her until she was brain dead; then she would be sent home to take care of us, fucking A. This is why I think that it is one of those things that you cannot do; that is to say, you can not straighten out a crooked old road. But, for sure, this old house can be flipped; refurbished, and just maybe,  I can realize a profit for life's investment in me.

free will...shitty!

Fuck it; there is no free will. How can you have free will when you are not in control of your environment. Right! You can pick and choose between your options; but do you really think that your choices come from the best of all possible worlds? And, if you do, than I do not think that you are on the same page as the rest of the majority or those like myself. I'm a psychological junky; I'm addicted to my weakness. For example, I was born Irish Catholic when the dogma was WASP and the country was going into fucking war. Being Irish Catholic was all ways on the table because it was discriminated against. The Irish immigrant who wanted his piece of the pie: his cockiness thought that ice cream would be nice too. Yes indeed, I have more lives than the common alley cat; maybe even more than I wish to not reminisce on. I venture to say that free will could come out of experiences freely taken so as to maximize their effect with others. Right! I believe that it is all about self best interest when the situation arises so that you can be assured that your needs were being met; life is giving you this opportunity, today only. Isn't that what your local timeshare girl says to you when she pops the question? The Dream Merchant wants to know if you want to step up to bat or do you want to send in a relief hitter? Is there free will in an environment convoluted in questionable hermeneutics, advertising. You feel the pressure from your primal psyche, the scream from within, this alien that you become, pleasure seeker. The voice in your head says, " I could have bought this and I could have bought that but in the end it all went down the tube." Your old man's voice in your head just bouncing all around about his lost opportunities and why life cheated him out of his piece of the pie. Now you do not want to be just like your old man so you have to pick up the bat, hit the ball out of the park, so that you too cane taste sin. How do you process any given moment when this particular sin is just for today, today only.  

  

inculcate

My life is so dysfunctional because I am dysfunctional; I'm dysfunctional because there is no place for me in the environment of others. There are no pathways open. I know that I'm not the only one out there who feels this way; you too could feel this way. So I suppose that I'm talking to you. I used to be socially acceptable. I always earned a living in a black market kind of way. The informal commerce of the community is where I worked, as they say, under the table. I remember those days back in the 50's during a good snow, I could make a C note shoveling snow; that is $100 dollars for a couple of days work. You know, I missed a lot of schooling during the snow storm's harvest, shoveling snow.  It's better than the shit you have to shovel today. Than I got my work permit when I was twelve. I was official -tax paying slob. I was a non stop worker for my slice of the pie until I was drafted into military service. I was 22 years old. You know -in the proverbial catch 22 position of being deliberately dismantled. Yes, the idea is to turn you into a -Government issue- dismantle the person to form the soldier. But, in the process I lost my spirit instead. I was no longer driven to discover my niche in life. I became the hamburger that was consumed by the system, the veteran. This process: How the fuck did I get here when you can't get here from there? If you recall, Updike covered it in "Rabbit Run." When asking for direction the reply was, "you can't get there from here." Anyway! Executing the idea: how are you going to set it into motion if this action of yours is neutered. Meaning the inability to do it myself. Learning that I needed someone else to do it for me. How did I learn to be helpless?  I learned to be helpless because you will not allow me -the felon- access to a meaning full life. I'm not living; I'm aging.
      

Taste centipede

 Reality implies a truth based consciousness; yet it is its unconsciousness that is the root of the question because it implies somehow that the herd is comfortable with this truth. Maybe this reality stifles the discovery of what maybe could be true, like that the earth is not really flat. Each member of the herd is different and it is this difference that separates their opposing position. If you allow for these differences you maximize self best interest. These interests vary from one an other in many and various ways, dependent on various situations. It is a convoluted herd. Discovery could be one of its charming points. For example,  when the feedback loop is in proper balance, the herd will spill out its connectivity like a spider spins its web, an infrastructure to get along on. There is this cognitive dissidence, confusion that can bring a cancer into the herd. You know that is when everybody is the leg of the centipede that wants to run astray. You do not want to get tangled up in the web, you want to walk across it. The spider is in concert with its web. This is where the herd needs to be with its potential, its discovery. All creativity is based on freeing yourself of old assumptions. When you go beyond yourself, allow for other pathways you will encounter differences to which you can assimilate, maybe a one night stand. I'm not against reality. Please, life is all about the brain and its ability to be unique to one and all. My brain or your brain it is just what you do with it.  Also it's like I'm Apple and you are PC. Anyway, to the point: You cannot shut off that brain in a prison and expect that brain to progress along as your brain has had the opportunity too. If you do that, the brain must function in a dysfunctional environment, developing its own spin on the prison's hive. Guest what it thinks about you. I can tell you this, nothing. 

The Deal: 3right

"Thanking you in advance:" this was how I ended the letters going out of cell block 3right -to prison officials. Somehow, I became the "Rev" to the blacks in 3right. I was never one of them in any sense of the word. They know that all reverends are sinners anyway; and they will help them write their letters. This form of living with the mix of black and white, some drunk, some in wheelchairs, etc. in the dungeons of Horry County, SC was like Dante's Inferno all taking place in a condemned building where the state kept its condemned minorities. It was played out in a white trash trailer park kind of way. The male sense of hegemony gets wound up in a more frantic state causing disturbances among the members of the torture chamber -3right. The local ministers would come into the dungeons and call out my name. "Tom, come on out and witness your sins so that they can heal those who may chose your Devil ways." I'm telling you all that it is fucking rape of the highest order to ask an innocent man to be a false witness to the guilt of the allegation. And one of them ended up on my jury, SC politics. In SC you are guilty until proven innocent because the courts want you to negotiate, plea bargain. You have all of the pieces of the puzzle in front of you; that is the go.This deal gets its legs off of the go, out of the chute.  The chute is a balancing act between the Actors involved. How well do they communicate with one and other; are their goals oriented in favor of success or is there an outlier amongst the Actors in the group? This is my situation: I'm in Brain Core theory; I made this deal with myself. A deal is a deal even with yourself. In my case I was always the outlier when dealing with others. My life was a Faustian deal with myself, stacking deal upon deal in the derivative fashion. How do you come to grips with the Devil if you were masking around as Faust, being his avatar?