
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Accommodation...!

Monday, December 14, 2015
"worldly" citizen ....!
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Pardon the turkey; eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Starting over...!

I have a blog called the BlackMarket.Me. This is where I conduct my thoughts. Yes! Each day to at least five times a week I compose a line or two to my diary. So it is made up of three components: title, picture, and dialogue. Sometimes, you will find that the influence of these are out of wack. Yes! This is daily meditation, psychobabble! But they come from the same source - therapy sessions! SO each title, picture or dialogue are to be seen as independent contributors to the compositions like syncopation. Also there is the trial - the dialogue put out by the State - their testimony, their perjury. You can also join with me to form this labor union because it is all about "JOBS." www.TheBlackMarket.me "The Iciclegarden" is where you make your mark.
Reflection: It might help others to process their own dilemma through understanding my dilemma. This is why I am throwing my story into the mix. I never click in; I just float by This is how it is. It is a thing about who is in control? The individual or the State? In my case, it is the State. It is an issue about labor; the State controls Labor. This is why I need a union. Unions have the power of arbitration. This is what I need; I need to bring the State to arbitration. I want to document my case with the State's documents -full disclosure. The State is dysfunctional because it is frigid except to corruption - the State's function is one of elitism, social power held by religious superstitions, formal as well as informal tendencies.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
S.O.S. shit on a stick...!
Think about recovery -recovering one's self as if the phoenix were rising. It is the brain's equilibrium: between states of reason. Recovery is the process of understanding that even if you do not need recovery, your memory will most likely be waning because over time, absent excitation, it becomes more difficult to retrieve it from memory. It's inhibited from long term memory because you are giving it a negative connotation toward retrieval. There is a saying out & about that says it quite well: "Out of site out of mind." This saying describes memory quite accurately, short term memory anyways. Dissonance is the result of not being whole because your mind is not set on excitation; it's battling inhibition. Therefore, you are out of step with your environment because you are not working in your own best interest; the expression is "self best interest." So! In recovery the process is understanding that there is no one individual; all brains are individual -independent variables, like cars on the 'highway' of life. OK! Now, there is one big pit fall to recovery because the society from which you fell has this "Humpty Dumpty" attitude, meaning you can never put the pieces back together again unless you capitulate to some preconceived notion about socialization minus your uniqueness or individuality. Just like "Humpty Dumpty who had a great fall but all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again." So this is the moment in therapy where you face the fact that revising the past can help recovery because the memories existing behind one's state of mind tell you where your energy is being spent, most of it in the repressing mode because the context behind the memory was being inhibited. Yes! Your brain's system is a simple one; it works on the model of excitation or inhibition. This is how the community of ideas within in your mind as well as the community of people at large coexist. For example, the more you inhibit your actions, the greater the loss there is to response cost, like fear inhibiting action where as joy promotes it. You see, when it comes to fear your body will go into automatic reaction; it will fight or run away; it's in your DNA. Yes! It is true that the community at large coexists of shared values but for whose value, in most cases, it has been corrupted and co-opted, eschewed in some esoteric privilege amongst the elites in power. It's their moral construct just like the clerk of courts in one of the Southern states declared that it was against her moral and religious character to be part of such a religious ceremony as the marriage between two people of the same gender simply because her name was on the court document. She went to jail for her actions but the religious right came out in force to defend her action. For them, the law is the law when it concurs with their understanding of the law, not as the law is written. So, you see that recovery is all about picking up the pieces of "Humpty Dumpty," putting back the pieces that you can, doing a -little 'Frankenstein' seeing how well the pieces fit into a unified whole. The key to therapy is hoping that you will never run out of reasons for being in therapy; otherwisewho else is there for you to laugh with about your past behavior other than yourself. Side bar: eat those pieces of "Humpty Dumpty" and shit them out the next day, creating a new whole new 'Frankenstein' to play around with and enjoy.
Monday, September 14, 2015
Stlye...!
On the cheap: OK! This could be a tale of two minds; "like a tale of two cities." One with -one without. This is just "style" -you know! If you are going to be building something -in my case a 'fort' in and amongst the trees -anything - there are certain components at hand as well as their expenses; for example, yesterday my contractor said that it did not matter how much he was hauling in the truck bed any day of the year; he still drove the truck around at twenty miles per gallon...maybe if he had a full load he would get eighteen miles per gallon. Meaning! "it does not really make a difference when digging & running one or more holes into the ground for utilities because that is what a hole-digger does" when you are using one to did holes. For example, my wife is building an addition onto an outbuilding which will become sleeping quarters for guests: their bathroom. It needs electricity, water and a source for heat & air. Now! at the same time I'm building a project of my own. I'm building a wood shed to house my imagination, a place to evolve; as well as store some eight cords of fire wood for the winter's fires. Anyway! Now I have a water line running into the shed as well as electricity because, "you had to pay for the hole-digger anyway -one hole or five holes." It all comes down to the possibilities. What do I mean? If you are going to build something add into it its evolution. You know! After a while the room becomes smaller and smaller - you wished you had made room for -other things. "Style" is all about space in this example. OK! I'm coveting with my roof 7 times more floor space than her roof at ten cents on the dollar; it's just a way of looking at things. My shed's floor space is #473 sq. ft to her bathroom's floor space of 64 sq. ft. My shed is open to fresh air; her bathroom is open to various scents, all of which I leave up to your imagination. Now, why am I telling this tale? Because, when I was telling Gracie, my niece through marriage, this morning about my fantasy -my project; she understood to it to mean that I got it on the "cheap." Where, what I meant was that I did not have to pay myself for my contribution. For there were only two of us doing the work, I and the guy whom I paid to be the boss; his name is Tommy; he is 68 years old, still sailing with the wind; his sails catching the wind like my roof's tin. I'm 73 myself, still on a "horse with no name" as they said some- where many years ago.
Behind the scenes....!

Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Story of 'it...'
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Sunday, August 16, 2015
Alien...within...!

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Friday, August 14, 2015
Reflection...!
It was a thrill to meander threw the "rants & raves" section on Craigslist yesterday because there in the Asheville, NC, I found a posting titled "Answer." Now if you ever want to feel good about yourself; then I suggest that you gander at or peruse through them; read them so that you know that you are not alone for you have found a community which you can relate to and reflect on. Yes! All that and even more if you dub the cape of creativity in the form of an online avatar. SO! What was so thrilling? Well, I wrote a blog for The Black Market.me called "Bar...fly...!" And I'm on Craigslist out of South West Va. where I hit on a post called "Answer" which originated out of Asheville, only to find my post with a new name. Yes! Someone used my post -verbatim but gave it a different title:"Answer" They even used my web site for any comments on the post. OK, you might ask, why are you so excited? Well now I know that at least one person read and understood what I was trying to communicate. Anyway I sent off a comment to his post saying, "very interesting, do you mind elaborating?" The reply came back, "the raleigh boyz are at it." So now I know that the -raleigh boyz- are passing me on to new frontiers just like in "Star Trek."What is the point? This is the point. Donald -while running for the Presidency- said that he knew the meaning of 'fair,' what it is all about, just like the rest of us do. To me that sounds like the pornography argument. " I know it when I see it" OK! let's think about the consequences of our actions. Then I say that the prison experience will pervert the mind of the individual. What does that mean? I is the meaning of 'fair' in society. Now when I say perversion, I mean that the mind will never be the same; the prison experience is eat or be eaten; this is on a good day. I know as far as my prison experience; I died of fear because I never knew if they were going to attack or not. I was never comfortable because I was strip searched more days than not during my incarceration. Let me tell you what fair is: verbatim -word for word- the raleigh boyz were fair with me; they just nicknamed me the 'Answer' not "Bar...fly...!" And! this I can live with because it helps to get me out and about.
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Bar...fly...!

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Problem...!
Monday, August 3, 2015
Masturbatory...:)...!
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Thursday, July 30, 2015
Social Justice...!
to 'trumping' out your cohort -one for the Donald. So! How about it: if we look at the situation from your point of view; "out and about" should be the name of it. Because you are the product of your family's wealth, or lack thereof. Now let's look at the difference between being a member of your school's alumni because you graduated or attended, what ever the arrangements are. You are a member of a union of people. Now if you did not attend school, you are not a member of anything remotely closed to a union of people; this is why the criminal justice system has been rolled over into the private sector. Yes! As the wealth keeps floating up to the top tier to do with as they wish; and as they say in that neighborhood, "I can't see it from my house." Think about the idea that yesterday's middle class is today's common class; this is where they will harvest their felon class to fill their prisons so that their share holders will make a profit. Remember! It's a duty of the corporation to maximize profit for the good of the shareholder. It's all about the revolving door felons are our crop to harvest and capitalize upon; felon equal profit on the corporate balance sheet, its bottom line. Social justice "should" be your bottom line. There is nothing more grass roots than unionizing from the bottom line. Coming together on the effects of prisons on an individual's psyche. I know from personal experiences because, in my case, the me that went into prison, died in prison, because of fear. Yes! I was frightened to death; I came out of prison with a bull's eye stamped on my body informing the crazies that if you have to fuck with anyone -fuck me. Side bar: In SC, about a year and a half ago I was on someone's hit list. He got caught only after he killed his first person on his list; it could have been me. There is no recourse. Therefore! At this point the key to understanding is to Think without anger.
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Tuesday, July 28, 2015
To pee or not to pee...!

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Father's...son...!
If the name of the game is therapy, Machiavelli is a good mentor. He believed that you needed to see the truth of that which 'is' - know what the meaning of 'is' is so that you can influence it with your power, energy & time. So! Therapy is all about deconstructing the situation, finding out how you acted then, in the past, when your brain was forming. Machiavelli was all about the truth. Others might have said "Do not allow the forest to get in the way of the tree; for it is the tree from where the forest comes; for without the tree, there is no forest." It is all about knowing the environment, the small family of origin, home -life, neighborhood, school and other opportunities. These pieces form the personality. "...To thy own self be truthful...." It is hard because of the irony between my father and me. I got what he wanted; yet I did not want it; I got drafted, 1964. He -on the other hand- wanted to go off to fight in the 'good war.' But the military denied him entry because he had to take care of me since he drove my mother into attempting suicide. She ended up in psychiatric care in the early 40's; it was a living hell. When she was released, she was like the walking dead waiting to be buried. My father's and my relationship was based upon the war movies as a metaphor - he was John Wayne; I could be the "Jap" in the war movie -battles that he did not get a chance to fight in. Yes! Father wanted to go off to the good war against Japan & Germany with the rest of the guys, and be one of the guys who would come home, get all of those benefits from the G.I. Bill. But! It never happened that way for Bill Smith. No! He could not be the man he wanted to be because he had to take care of 'me'.You Know! Mother was pregnant with me when the 'war of the world' broke out, December,1941. I came on the scene in March. Shortly thereafter my mother placed me into a basket in the gas oven which she turned on as a way of freeing him from any obligation - therefore, allowing him the opportunity to serve in the good war against Japan & Germany. And if he survived he would get the G.I. Bill. too! Side bar: He was one of four brothers in his family; he was sacrificed for the good of the service; I was one of four siblings in his family; he sacrificed me for the good of the service. So! You see he was one of four male siblings; three went to war and came home to the G.I. Bill. As they say, "those were the days my friend...."Home was not a safe place to be for 'me' so I stayed on the streets as long as I could before going home hoping that things would be different, roaming for hours on the street. But they never were. I did not belong; I was out of place. If you don't fit in, you will be eaten alive. So I chose to roam.
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Friday, July 24, 2015
State of equilibrium...!
So what does it take to get someone's attention when they are otherwise engaged. Maybe, like your wife. or any wife, my wife. No! Let's play it safe and say the generalized other's wife. OK! Good! I only speak one language when I'm around the house; but the wife has in her quiver many languages with piercing tips that serve to distort my understanding of what I'm trying to put forward. But, with the generalized other there are even more languages being synthesized. For example, it is like the Blog that I put out yesterday wherein I stated that I received a section 8 when discharged from the military, which my wife would agree with anyway but some readers could not believe. The Section 8 clause is "for the good of the service." Now! It is true that the military feels that if they cannot contain you that there is something wrong with you. In my case everything was wrong because I was 21 years old; I had been in school; I had a full time job as an office manager for the Meadow's in Framingham, Ma.; I had a girl that I loved & was engaged too when the Draft call came down from the powers that be. So, I end up in the Air Force, stationed in Peshawar, West Pakistan holding on to my dick in the one hand, and a 'dear john' letter in the other hand. Fucking A! You are right on if you think that I'm pissed. So, I go native in tribal territory; the powers that be do not understand what is going on. Side bar: I'm the guy who comes from the streets of Waltham, Ma. There it is not much different from the streets of Peshawar; it's dog eat dog for the scraps flowing downward from the top. Think Reagan & the 'trickle down theory,' there I was a street kid with street smarts working the Biblical streets from the old British Empire. Yes! When I was there, Pakistan was only 20 years old, where as Peshawar had been on the boarder with Afghanistan. It's the Kyber Pass between Kabul, Afghanistan & Peshawar, West Pakistan, forever. Plus! They gave me a gun to protect their secrets from falling into the wrong hands; as I made my way from the installation -government hideout- to the airport just on the edge of town. This is where I hocked up with P.I.A airlines heading to Rawalpindi or Karachi. You Know! Traveling through tribal territory carrying classified government documents along with the mail; Just yours truly & a colt 45 government issue as well as a 38 revolver. It got so bad that the military thought that I was C.I.A. undercover as an enlisted airman. What is the point? Well from Peshawar I went to Paris,France. While there, I got married and played around on the streets at nights. Yes! The streets of Paris 1966/68 were for me the right touch of hope; they too were in their 20's, the first generation coming into life; it was their family's resurrection too. Recap! 20years after world war two, I was serving in Pakistan, the country was only 20 years old due to being separated from India, 1945. I played around in Karachi as well; it was the capital at that time right on the Indian ocean. Now the capital is in Islamabad. It is all about believing in Numbers. I met the generation from two separate parts of the world when I was in my 20's, as they were in their respective 20's, Believe me when I say that I know what it is like to be pissing in the wind. Now! my wife on the other hand could be explained if she were from Roswell, New Mexico where many aliens resides, sort of speaking in tongues. It's so out of "space" there; I know because I too had an adventure playing around with the Devil; but that is another story.
Thursday, July 23, 2015
The...'beast'....!
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Sunday, July 19, 2015
Penalization...!
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Streaming...!

Thursday, July 16, 2015
The...nude...!

I know it when I see it: this is the catch all phrase or word -string uttered or articulated when the nude is portrayed. The funny thing about it, to me, is that on the whole no one seems to be able to operationally define pornography. Now! I believe that is because there seems to be a wide range of views depending upon whether it is in the bed -room or the living -room; rather like, are you in the "closet" or not about your rapture over sexuality. Yes! It is said that there is a different consensus met when the "nude" body is being observed by a man or a woman. But! Pornography has to do with the "law;" otherwise, there would be no issue. Depending on how the law is written, in conjunction with or without its affect upon the defendant, pornographer. This is a slippery -slope for it is for concluded that you are guilty until proven otherwise. It's the manipulation of the masses to rein in their own sexual standards, complying with the herd, not some "heifer" who is f***ing the Bull. OK! For the Donald! So, what is wrong with this picture is simple, not what you think it should be, or want it to be; remember what Clinton said, "it depends on the meaning of is." My point is this: who ever controls "is" distorts the law for those whom gave him his authority. So! This is the point: It is the system which is pornographic because its citizens are not all treated as equals; but, rather depending on how much influence you can bring to bear upon it. Yes! It is true: most of our prisons are filled up with those who grew up in an impoverished family. These are the minorities who have not the means to represent themselves through a private attorney of their choosing. Rather, they must get assistance through the so called "public defenders" program which will assign you an individual whose job it is is to get you to come to some form of "plea bargain" because this is what the STATE wants. Otherwise, you face the overwhelming onslaught of its resources, its rogue prosecutors. You know! Simply because you have a camera & an imagination, yes it is your creativity that they want to keep in check; you could say that you are a pornographer if the prosecutor has a dirty mind; it is their projections which are being vomited upon the individual -creating a canvas of shame. Comment: theiciclegarden@gmail.com
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Altruism: by definition means.
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Thursday, July 9, 2015
Posturing:
I had to get to the front gate this morning because the guy from Terminix was coming to check on the house: I had to make sure that the gate was open by 10 o'clock. Now, it is about 1/4 of a mile to the gate & another 3/4 of a mile to the bridge. It was here at the bridge that I notice how the sunflower settled into its own niche right along side of the mailboxes.At this point, I had the sense that this is a physical world; there fore, it is all about occupying space. The manner in which you personally displace space. Just like the sunflower. Now I will admit that it is a very pleasant walk to the mailboxes: walking down my drive to the road I pass the Mountain Laurel backed up by the Pine & Oak trees. this journey through the trees is very mellow; yet, so robust, filled with fresh oxygen through photosynthesis. I just love being around these many trees; because of them, it's just a gradual downward sally to the gate. Now from the gate to the bridge: it's half hard pack road & half black top road which is maintained by the town; I just follow the hard pack portion of the road. It is called North Fork Lane. The hill side is filled with trees that are large, small and many between. If you open up your mind's imagination, you could see the hill side cleared and a vineyard flourishing there in its place. The land's gently rolling slope is ideal for growing grapes; but instead, it's the water flowing under the surface of the land that is being capitalized upon. So, turning with the road, you come to the water's tap; this is where the bright, shiny steel truck hocks up to the hillside's water tap: fresh water to be bottled & sold, free market capitalism. Walking past the water's tap, the road opens up along the side of Christian Creek whose water flows under the bridge. Plus, this is where my neighbor has set up a place for his family to relax and enjoy one another's company. The rocks were moved out of the way so that there would be a wading pool of water several feet deep, continuously being turned over by the brook's descending flow, allowing the family to bath in the shade of the old tree's limbs. From this point, you can see the mailboxes by the bridge; but yet, not the sunflower nestled within the mailboxes. Oh! yes, the creek is singing out; it's the sound of music. It's in this intersection of time & space that the sunflower & I found each other.
Monday, July 6, 2015
Change:...!

Sunday, July 5, 2015
Cafe dream...
" I have a dream." If someone wanted to sponsor me, for what ever reason, it could be as simple as wanting to give back to your community for the shake of fostering a more familial concept. I would consent because it would be spreading me out & about; where, I could gather freely from a more inclusive environment. It is also true that I would be open about mentoring because the relationship is more tactile do to their interaction; mentoring is a more hands-on approach; its advice is -we over I- in nature to nurture & foster trust as their stage of ideas unfurls in the mind's of the intended. I once had a relationship like that. I was living in Boston, Mass back in the 70's. Bernie open it up for me - served it to me as if he were serving up a tray of sweet oysters on the half-shell. He knew everyone that you needed to know; Bernie the door opener knew it all. He shared his 'access' with me; he let me in so that I could learn how to get the most out of the derivative: Ideas are all about their future validity, cash flow. Yes! The mentor is all about helping you to fail so that you can learn its lesson; failure can be the beginning step to tomorrow's success; you can learn from the experience if you open up yourself to new opportunities; that way you can reconstruct your options to better serve your needs. You Know! Mentoring: It's a relationship about reciprocity; anyway, you can look at me as if I were "eye candy" or "soul food" it's your choice -Bon apetite!
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Mack the "shiv"
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Sex is a good way to get someone's attention! That said, let's play with our imagination and go back in time to the 16th century. Imagine how they might have looked at each other. Machiavelli the adviser offering Lorenzo De Medici, the Prince, some free advise. "It seems to me more appropriate to pursue the effectual truth of the matter rather than its imagined one;" because, when questioned upon fear or love, he said, "It is best to be both loved and feared." It's situational, you know; but fear bumps love for safety's sake because "it is better to be feared than loved" when imposing your self upon others; as you might surmise in the criminal justice system; prison uses any means necessary, how ever unprincipled, to win control over the sexual tension floating like a spider's web connecting its inhabitants. Imagine living on the spider's web as it spins out of control by the very effects influencing it because sex has to do with the meaning of "is" according to President Clinton who holds the same stage as Lorenzo De Medici! For example, as a tutor, I was sitting in the library(as it was one of my duties in prison), when this guy sat down. Through conversation it came out that his belief about the boys that he protected had their own rhythm because he knew that each day one of those boy's will have a very big "shit" leaving his hole ready and tacitly willing for him to fill it up; he swears by it because these boys do indeed offer up their shit, sequentially, moving across the spider's web. So, sex is all about control over the "quid pro quo," where it is the gate keeper who controls access to needs, addictions. Please! how do you give into addiction so that you can gain a niche. How do you get away from yourself when you lack the skills to traverse the oncoming traffic. Life is moving in on you like running the mogul fields as you come down the mountain's side of descent. So! It's how you handle yourself in the prevailing situations, approaching pathways of fear, joy, disgust, or sadness as you shift from one mode to another like the skier approaching moguls to ride in and out of going down the mountain's slope. So, according to Machiavelli it is about how you handle yourself around the mogul; it is the difference between a fair or great run down the mountain's slopes. And, by the way, Machiavelli's understanding of the effect-jive about truth- has held the test of time, political wasteland.
e-mail theiciclegarden@gmail.com
Sex is a good way to get someone's attention! That said, let's play with our imagination and go back in time to the 16th century. Imagine how they might have looked at each other. Machiavelli the adviser offering Lorenzo De Medici, the Prince, some free advise. "It seems to me more appropriate to pursue the effectual truth of the matter rather than its imagined one;" because, when questioned upon fear or love, he said, "It is best to be both loved and feared." It's situational, you know; but fear bumps love for safety's sake because "it is better to be feared than loved" when imposing your self upon others; as you might surmise in the criminal justice system; prison uses any means necessary, how ever unprincipled, to win control over the sexual tension floating like a spider's web connecting its inhabitants. Imagine living on the spider's web as it spins out of control by the very effects influencing it because sex has to do with the meaning of "is" according to President Clinton who holds the same stage as Lorenzo De Medici! For example, as a tutor, I was sitting in the library(as it was one of my duties in prison), when this guy sat down. Through conversation it came out that his belief about the boys that he protected had their own rhythm because he knew that each day one of those boy's will have a very big "shit" leaving his hole ready and tacitly willing for him to fill it up; he swears by it because these boys do indeed offer up their shit, sequentially, moving across the spider's web. So, sex is all about control over the "quid pro quo," where it is the gate keeper who controls access to needs, addictions. Please! how do you give into addiction so that you can gain a niche. How do you get away from yourself when you lack the skills to traverse the oncoming traffic. Life is moving in on you like running the mogul fields as you come down the mountain's side of descent. So! It's how you handle yourself in the prevailing situations, approaching pathways of fear, joy, disgust, or sadness as you shift from one mode to another like the skier approaching moguls to ride in and out of going down the mountain's slope. So, according to Machiavelli it is about how you handle yourself around the mogul; it is the difference between a fair or great run down the mountain's slopes. And, by the way, Machiavelli's understanding of the effect-jive about truth- has held the test of time, political wasteland.
e-mail theiciclegarden@gmail.com
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Unfurling sorrow -finding anger & hate via ISIS.
"the icicle garden"
Friday, June 26, 2015
FLAG flying for prison reform.

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